Mirror Mirror

Here’s my question; when you look in the mirror, do you see an accurate reflection of yourself?

Do you see what the world sees?  Or maybe, does the world see different versions of you based on how they feel about you?  If they love you, do they see more beauty than someone who doesn’t?  I know if I don’t like someone, I see their snarled tooth.  It’s like that movie, Shallow Hal.  If someone was beautiful inside, he saw a beautiful outside; vice versa.  Funny movie.      

Does my husband see one thing and a stranger another?  Do my friends look at me and think, too big, too small, too round, not round enough, too wide set, not symmetrical, etc… or do they only notice the things that they find beautiful.  Wow, she has nice brown eyes!?  I know I see the best qualities in my friends.  I can appreciate what makes them beautiful.  But me…when I look in the mirror, I see too many extra pounds.  Yuck.

After New Years, I made a resolution to stop eating candy/junk/crap.  My friend texted me and I told her I already failed on my resolution, DAY ONE!  Nice.  She said that giving up sweets gets me on a one way ticket to miseryville.  But, I said that the end result keeps me living in miseryville.  House, car, white picket fence.  I set up shop in miseryville.  She said I was “stunning.”  In a nutshell, she basically told me not to beat myself up about it.  She must love me?!  But, I told her this story: I was at the deli and they had these delicious looking black and white extra large cookies and I said to another lady, ‘wow, those look good.”  She looked over at them and then looked at me and said, “Yes tempting.”  I decided to take one and she said, “You can’t deprive yourself of everything,” and I said, “The problem is, I don’t.”  She laughed but I wasn’t joking.  I don’t deprive myself.  I took that black and white cookie home and ate it.  HELLO?!  I need to learn the art of self-restraint.  I mean, I love black and white cookies… (like the TV show Seinfeld)...”LOOK TO THE COOKIE!”  But seriously, when I look in the mirror, I do not see everything I could be.  Maybe my friend might see someone “stunning,” but the problem is, I don’t.   I’m not writing this in a woe is me type of way.  I’m writing this in a “let’s get this done,” kind of way.  Are you with me? 

I know I talk about The Bar Method a lot.  I really love it and I do think it can change my body.  I’m going often.  But, the problem is that I’m self-sabotaging myself by what I am putting in my mouth.  I need to eat healthier and I need to decide to do it NOW.  I joined a 60 day challenge that the Bar Method has organized.  I had to get measured for it and couldn’t believe my measurements.  My arms, my waist, my thighs, my BLAHHHHHH….

Yuck, spit, grrrrr…It was depressing.  I took a sneak peak at the other 2 people’s measurements on the page (I had to) and they were so much tinier.  I feel like I broke into a cold sweat.  What am I doing to myself?  How did this happen?  So anyway, I started trying harder; taking baby steps. And, I realized…I have to be held accountable for my actions.  I have to have a goal in sight.  And I do.  March 7.  They will measure me again.  I’m hoping for change.  Being a black and white cookie connoisseur will not get me there, that is for sure.   

I’m not Bridget Jones or anything, but I’m going to take you along.  Just pleeeeaaase don’t judge me because look, I’m a mom and when I have bad days, I want to grab a Hershey kiss.  When everyone is crying, I want to dump coffee creamer in my cup.  When I’m bored, I mistakenly think that I’m hungry and so I grab a snack.  I don’t need it!  These unhealthy habits have to be broken and new habits have to replace them.  I’ll get there, I hope.

So, I’ll put a little note at the end of every blog and maybe just a blurb about how I’m doing.  I have 15 pounds to lose. I almost wrote my starting weight in this, but I’m not that open and free.  I feel like I would walk around with a little bubble over my head and the number just floating for everyone to point and laugh.  Ha! “Look at how much she weighs…holy moly!!!”   I have to keep something to myself.  But, I will tell you how much I’m up or down.  I know.  It is a lot to lose.  But, it has to go.  Between this and the Bar Method, I’m hoping I can get myself back to where I want to be.  I hope you will join me. Maybe join me at the Bar Method or If you want to be held accountable, private message me.  I’ll share some stories as well.  I would hate to do this alone.

Let’s make 2013 the best ever!  And let us look in the mirror and see what we want and feel proud.

http://ridgewood.barmethod.com/