Part of my journey is my honesty. It kind of all started when I heard someone
say something about me. It wasn’t
something that can wreck another person, but it was just enough to make me question
everything.
This is mom life.
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Hi. I’m sorry I
haven’t written in a while. Part of my authentic self is this and I’ve been
neglecting it. In fact, I have been
neglecting a lot of things that make me happy.
And further, I have found moments and pieces of time where I actually
feel lost. You know why, because I’m human. End. Of. Story.
Without going into too much detail, I left my kids with
another mom for 5 minutes and then as I walked back up, I heard her berating me
for it to someone else. I had to put my
baby down for bed. My 7 and 5 year old
were perfectly capable to be with a friend, without me. But, it was said. And, it was a catalyst for me. I went home and cried. Not for being talked about, but more so for
all the times it might have happened and maybe I didn’t hear. I cried for the separation between moms that
will always be there as much as we try to change it. I cried for myself. I let myself have a little pity. And then I kind of felt down on myself and people.
This mom life is even harder than high school and college
combined.
But, the reality check is this. It happens…
To all of us. I wish
it didn’t, but it does. There is
gossip. There is FOMO. There are clicks. There is so much to deal with along with
being a mom and a wife, a daughter and the CEO of our own lives. We all have so much to deal with.
There comes a point in your life when you must decide to
change yourself. You cannot change
anyone else. But, you can change how you
view things and how you talk. That is
where I’m at now.
A mental shift. For
me, it happened yesterday. (Even though
this happened a few weeks ago). I got to
a certain point with people. And I
decided…we cannot let anyone else’s crap affect us.
I just read this great post about how life is too short for
crappy friends. It is unrelated. I’m not saying this person is a crappy
friend. She just made a crappy
statement. Even if it was taken out of
context by me, it was still said. It
still had a negative connotation. It was
still wrong.
But anyway, the post I read is one of those posts that I
wish I had written. Because it made me
remember that in this life, the only thing we can do right, is be our authentic
selves. That is the only thing we should
focus on. The other stuff will always
come; the friends, the wishes and wants, and the blessings. Everything tends to come to you when you
become who you are meant to be. Granted, I have had a lot of life changes going
on. I moved. My baby turned into a toddler. And, I had extra stresses of boxes, and
permits, and trip-able sidewalk slabs that had to be fixed. But I have neglected myself and what makes me
happy. And I have lost sight of who and
what is giving me the most happiness. I
think I was focused on the wrong things amongst those pesky everyday problems. And I kind of focused on the catalyst that
allowed me to change my mind set. I
refuse to let it.
Nobody can have power over you unless you let them.
This person you are, this authentic person, will be a good
teacher for your children. This lesson I
learned about my catalyst, is something I can use to teach my girls how to
toughen up when there is talk. Strength
comes from WITHIN.
Talk is cheap.
And you and your children will always be disappointed by
people. But the only way I am
comfortable moving forward is with my forgiveness. And I hope I can teach my daughters to
forgive.
And I hope they also know, that it is their hugs that can
stop any rainstorm in my heart and engulf me with warm sunshine. We are one.
We are family. Nobody can break
that.
