Those "Other" Things

I dropped off my 3 year old at school and put my 1 year old daughter down for a nap.  Time found me…beautiful, wonderful time.  I fell flat on my bed and didn’t feel like moving.  The laundry is in the basket needing to be folded and the bills need to be paid.  Dinner needs to be prepped.  Cookies need to be made for a Halloween party tomorrow.  I haven’t written a blog in a while.  What do I choose?

To be honest, I haven’t written in a little while because I haven’t felt like it.  I haven’t been inspired to pour my heart lately.  I felt really focused on my family getting over their sicknesses and have had some shifts in priorities.  I’ve been folding the laundry instead of writing.  I’ve been emptying the dishwasher instead of writing.  I’ve been writing press releases for my town newcomer group instead of writing.  The beat goes on.  Life moves forward.  With one less thing to do, life ran a little smoother…

It is amazing how often we choose those "other things” over ourselves.  Laundry trumps “me” time.  Sometimes life gets out of whack and so you do what you have to do.  But sometimes, life is not out of whack.  It is normal.  But, we still choose the “other things.”  Don't get me wrong, they don’t make us unhappy.  At all.  I don’t think they make anyone unhappy if they are living a happy life filled with wonderful people.  I definitely like getting things done.   Sometimes it is peaceful to have a more organized life and less to do. When I have to worry about my 2 babies and my husband, sometimes I don't want to add anything else to my long list of things to do and get done.  I don’t want to put up a semi-ok blog as I trip over a pile of laundry.  If I fall on my face, will I smile on the way down?  I guess it depends on the day. Some days, I’ll curse at the fact that now I have no time to do that and I’ll kick the pile into a corner.  Damn laundry!!

I never wanted writing to be a burden.   I never wanted to think, “I have to get this done.”  I wanted to write to release.  I wanted to write because I was inspired.  I want to inspire in some small little way, if I can.  It can only work if it is about nothing else.    

My friend sent me another mama’s blog about balance.  So, as I rested on my bed for a moment of peace, I sat and read the blog she sent…and I cried.  The writer talked about balance and how it is a myth as a mother.  We can’t achieve balance but we can find our center.  She is living her life as a “pendulum rhythm:” she says, “I wildly swing back and forth and I always come home to center.”  I didn’t cry at the actual words or the lesson.  I think we all know that we must find our center as parents and as individuals.  I cried at the connection I felt through the words.  I cried because we aren’t alone and that makes me happy and secure.  We all have rocky lives that get crazy at times and then settle down at other times.  But I cried at it, because I felt inspired again.

Inspiration is a funny thing.  You can see it in your child’s searching eyes.  You can find it in a loving word from your husband or wife.  You can read it in a book or blog or have it handed to you in a picture from your daughter.  Inspiration, if we see it, can surround us at all times and be there at a moment’s notice ready to keep your feet briskly walking and your heart beating strong.  We can see it in the waves crashing, in the sunset, in the leaves falling like rain. It keeps me going.  I found it again and it warmed me up life a cup of coffee.   It made me choose myself again, (for just an hour) …the laundry can wait.     

For me, doing a million half-assed things will never suffice in keeping a whole heart.  I’ve been trying to keep up with the day to day and it has been keeping me calm and happy.  But, at the same time, we must keep our eyes open for the inspiration that surrounds us.  Because then and only then will it allow us to truly open up and be ourselves. It will allow us to forget about the laundry or the bills for a second and take a little time in some way for ourselves. Whatever it is. Don’t choose those “other things” today, choose yourself.  Today, I didn’t get the laundry folded and I’m completely ok with that.  And today, if I trip over it…I’ll smile on the way down. 

Bye for now.  Time to pick up my daughter.