Who's Got Your Back?

Two nights ago, my 2 ½ year old daughter woke up puking at 3:30 am.  I was up for the day.  Utter exhaustion.  In the morning, my “mom” friend texted and asked if I wanted her to pick up my 7 month old and bring her to the playgroup I was going to miss; to keep her away from the germs.  She had my back. 

That afternoon, a different “mom” friend called me to give me words of support and encouragement.  “Do you want me to bring over some coffee,” she asked.  I sighed in relief.  She made me laugh and lended a hand; she understands.  She too had been in the same boat a few weeks back.  She had my back.     

When I was pregnant with my second child and put on bed rest, it was my “mom” friends that got my toddler in and out of the car.  They wanted to put together a schedule to get my toddler in and out of her crib.  They had my back.

I’ve seen friends come and go, and that’s been hard; because I’ve so wanted to keep these friendships.  But, if it’s not a two way street, it won’t work.  I’ve been driving along that street, waving down the other person with a big white flag.  “Hi, it’s me!! Can we stay friends?” And they have looked the other way and made the turn.  “Ok,” I think.  If it isn’t reciprocated…it isn’t worth it.  I know that now.  And, I’m completely fine with it.  Two reasons: 1) real friends remain and 2) you make new ones.  New ones that come along right at the time that you need them the most; right time, right place, right stage of your life. And, it all comes together.  

I truly believe that it isn’t about age, it is about stage.  And this stage is called motherhood.  My “mom” friends have my back because they know.  They are in the trenches with me; dirty, bleeding, and looking for light.  They can see eye to eye.  Lift you up.  Understand.  “Mom” friends are the ones who know your children the best.  They love your children.  You love theirs. They “like” every single baby picture you put up that pops up on their facebook news feed.  (Even if it’s everyday) They email funny quotes and jokes to raise your spirits.  They see you at your worst moments and some of your best; and they don’t judge.  They plan ladies nights out, weekends away, dinners, and playgroups.  Excuses to get together; whenever!  And in this time together, you truly get to know each other.

When you become a mom, everything changes.  Your world is thrown upside down and your life becomes your children.  And, if you don’t have or want children, you just cannot empathize with other moms.  Unfortunately, sometimes those friendships may take a back seat for a moment.  But it is ok, because it all comes out in the wash.  Everyone will end up at the same place at some point in time. Thank goodness though for our “mom” friends who reside in our everyday life.  They get it and it becomes imperative to have them with you for the ride. They are in that car, cleaning puke and giving you a thumbs up and a head nod.  I think…they may just be the biggest support system in life.  And, in the end, they are more than just “mom” friends; they are true, inspiring, wonderful… friends, who have each other’s backs!