Second Child Syndrome

My baby girl said “Dadda” today. 

I stopped in my tracks.  Did she just say what I think she said?  I waited.  She said it again.  And, I stood up and jumped up and down for her.  I was genuinely excited for her.  I was sincerely thrilled for my little baby when I heard those first words.  Because, even though I heard it before (when my toddler was a baby)…it was like the first time again.  It was still such a fresh, lovely feeling.

When my second child was born, I already felt bad for her.  The minute she came out of me, I silently suffered for her.  I already missed the time I wouldn’t spend with her, knowing I had to share all of my time and attention.  I also noticed that other people didn’t pick her up as much or play with her as much as my first born.  I did the same thing.  I put her down more (because I had to) and didn’t rock her to sleep (because I didn’t have the time).   I put her on the ground a lot, instead of holding her.  Sometimes I would even forget that she was happily jumping in her jumperoo or playing in her exersaucer.  I would be involved in something else, either getting something set up for my toddler or running quickly to get something else done; and then I would hear whining and look over.  “Oh my god, I have another baby.  There she is…about to cry.  Whoops!”  Poor little thing; I just want the same things for her that my first born received.  The same love.  The same time.  The same attention.  Close bonds.  Songs.  Clapping.  Everything.

So, I make sure to do it all.  I make sure that she is getting the same things my first born received when she was a baby.  When she sat up for the first time, I clapped.  When she crawled for the first time, I got in her face with the biggest smile and applauded.  And, when she lifted herself to a standing position, we lowered the crib…and then we gave her a round of applause.  I snap pictures of her, sing songs, and make sure to give her lots of snuggles throughout the day.  Sometimes I have to thoughtfully do these things, because life can sometimes get crazy and my toddler can take up a lot of time.  So, I will quickly sing “The itsy bitsy spider,” when I have a moment.  Or, I’ll play patty cake when C is playing quietly by herself. 

Other times however, she has a playmate…   

This morning, my toddler went up to her and hugged her so tight and said, “I love my sister soo soo much.  She’s the best!”  My eyes filled with tears.  “She is the best…just like you.”  And, it came to me…

It hit me like a ton of bricks.

My baby has more love and affection showering her every day of her life; because she has a sister.  Every day, when my toddler walks in the room, my little baby lights up with love.  I’ll put my toddler in the baby’s crib with her and they will smile and play.  Sometimes, they roll around the floor hugging and laughing and my worries melt away.  She has it all, that little baby…and that much more. 

So today, when my baby said “Dadda” for the first time, I stood up and clapped for her.  “She said Dadda,” I said aloud.  And then my toddler stood up from what she was doing and clapped as well.  “She said Dadda,” she repeated.  “HOORAY!!!” she screamed.  And our little baby put her fingers in her mouth, crinkled those adorable eyes, and smiled.