Facebook and Instagram are slowly destroying America, one
group shot at a time; one check-in at a time; one “I’m with (insert name/s) at (insert
place)” What it really should say is, “I’m NOT with you.” SUCKER!
Pretty soon we will all need to pop a pill before we click on our
Facebook app to prepare ourselves for what depression we will feel when we see
one of our friends with one of our other friends together, without you. Or maybe they are altogether, pointing at the
camera with one hand, holding a mixed drink with the other. Smile. You click on the picture and look at it for a minute or so, trying to see if anyone else you know is in the backround; squinting those eyes.
How many times have you seen a group shot on Facebook and
said to yourself, “What the F? Why wasn’t
I invited?” More than 15…less than
1,000?! That is my range. And/or how many times have you seen a group
shot from virtual strangers and thought to yourself, “Wow, looks like a good
group of friends.” How nice for them.
I wish when someone introduced themselves to you, they could
be real. “Hi, I’m Peggy and I’m a sneaky
bitch.” And I would say, “Hi Peggy, why?” “Well,” she would respond, “at times I will
make you feel really good and build you up and then other times I will send you sailing down a whirling, twirling black
hole until you hit the ground hard.” Thump! I would think to myself for a
second and then say, “How high are the highs?”
“Very high,” she would respond. "Oh, that sounds nice," I would say. “But,
the lows leave you with a pit in your stomach.”
After careful deliberation, I would pass, even though Peggy was really
cute and wearing a matching coral necklace with earrings. I could learn a lot from her I’d think. But, it wouldn’t be enough. If I stayed friends with Peggy on Facebook at least (because we like
to torture ourselves), I would see her smiling big smiles with her “friends” in
cute white pants and a floral top but I would know better. Her highlights would be fresh and her
lipstick would be without smudges. I
would feel bad for whoever her arms were wrapped tightly around though. Any day now, I would think. They are on a high right now.
Peggy isn’t a real person. She represents the sneaky bitch that we all
know; the one who excludes. Look, I know
I’ve been in the group shot before. I
have. Maybe I pissed someone off with
that and maybe they called me a sneaky bitch.
Sorry? But we can’t sit silently
on the sidelines, can we? The difference
is that I don’t want to exclude anyone.
I really do believe in the old thinking of, “the more the merrier.” AND, if I do happen to exclude, I will text
the person who I think is excluded and apologize and explain why. “I’m sorry that I put that picture of
Facebook, I just wanted to say that I accepted an invitation, but if I planned
it, I would have called you.” That is
the truth. I also try my best not to lie.
Sometimes I call that, diarrhea of the mouth. If someone asks me where I was yesterday, I
will tell her. I won’t say, “Um, nowhere…didn’t
do anything.” I would say, “I saw Peggy
yesterday. What about you?” Why
can’t it ever be that easy? Honesty.
Being upfront. Real. It is the hiding that makes it sting, instead
of feeling a quick painless pinch.
Why and how does High School follow us? I never ever thought my 30’s would consist of
ever feeling bad/sad about these trivial things. My friend felt like this last week and my
heart broke for her. She saw a picture of Facebook of a group of people out to
dinner and she wasn’t included. And
another friend told me the same this week.
This isn’t out of nowhere. Sneaky
bitches are everywhere!!! The funny
thing is, I have my family, my children, and the rest should be cake. It is, for the most part. But, sometimes it is not. That is how I can explain it. Sometimes I find myself questioning my
choices. I’m human. Don’t I always write that in my posts? I’m human.
Because it is the truth. We have a
beating heart which strums up real emotions.
We aren’t made of wax. Feelings
are feelings.
So what should we do now?
How do we weed out those sneaky bitches when they aren’t upfront about
it? Hold our head high; be nice; be as
loyal as we can and impeccable with our word.
If we can do that, we can find real gems. Hold on to those gems girls, they sparkle
bright are hard to find, but when you find them, they make you feel nothing
less than rich.
You DO tell the truth- I can say I know for a fact since I was the recipient of one of those texts. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI think it's more that you really need to know the people you hang with, decide what role you want them to play in your life, and then you can make a conscious decision how much to care about outings that happen without you.
I'm definitely more like you- the more the merrier. But I know with social media there have been times, like you said, someone else planned something, I ended up there somehow, ended up in a photo, and someone else may have been hurt. And I didn't know or think anything of it. Or something was more impromtu, got bigger than anticipated, etc. Again, not meaning to exclude someone.
I think if you're not generally paranoid (haha), you kind of know when people are being sneaky. You know it's been done to me, I've been hurt, but I know it was purposeful for whatever reason. I was hurt because I pretty much set these people up, I'd see them, they'd say nothing about getting together, then I'd see pics on FB & be like WTF, why didn't they just say something. I mean, I'm pretty busy- most likely I wouldn't have even gone. But I thought it was really rude they didn't even ask as a courtesy.
But then I realized after awhile is that I don't need friends like that. That's why I never hung with a "group". I prefer to get to know individuals. Then, I may get invited to stuff within their groups, but not part of any drama. It does prevent me from being really close to/in a group of people but ever since 5th grade when I saw friends constantly turning on friends in "the group" I knew that kind of thing wasn't for me.
Go with your gut. If you feel like someone, people, a group isn't real, genuine, etc. just distance yourself. Not in a mean way, not confrontational...you just pick new people to hang with more. You give them a role- maybe you just do kid related activities with them because you like to hang when the kids are a buffer. Maybe you go to the pool together because it's on more of a superficial, people to chat with level. Then you save Margarita night for people you can be you with that you know want you in the picture, whether you were really there or not. And that's all that really matters. You know who makes you feel wanted and who doesn't. The ones that don't....well, they just don't really matter.