The Catalyst

“Isn't it kind of silly to think that tearing someone else down builds you up?”
― Sean Covey

Part of my journey is my honesty.  It kind of all started when I heard someone say something about me.  It wasn’t something that can wreck another person, but it was just enough to make me question everything.

This is mom life.

*************************************************************************************

Hi.  I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while. Part of my authentic self is this and I’ve been neglecting it.  In fact, I have been neglecting a lot of things that make me happy.  And further, I have found moments and pieces of time where I actually feel lost.  You know why, because I’m human.  End. Of. Story.

Without going into too much detail, I left my kids with another mom for 5 minutes and then as I walked back up, I heard her berating me for it to someone else.  I had to put my baby down for bed.  My 7 and 5 year old were perfectly capable to be with a friend, without me.  But, it was said.  And, it was a catalyst for me.  I went home and cried.  Not for being talked about, but more so for all the times it might have happened and maybe I didn’t hear.  I cried for the separation between moms that will always be there as much as we try to change it.  I cried for myself.  I let myself have a little pity.  And then I kind of felt down on myself and people.

This mom life is even harder than high school and college combined.

But, the reality check is this.  It happens…

To all of us.  I wish it didn’t, but it does.  There is gossip.  There is FOMO.  There are clicks.  There is so much to deal with along with being a mom and a wife, a daughter and the CEO of our own lives.  We all have so much to deal with.     

There comes a point in your life when you must decide to change yourself.  You cannot change anyone else.  But, you can change how you view things and how you talk.  That is where I’m at now.

A mental shift.  For me, it happened yesterday.  (Even though this happened a few weeks ago).  I got to a certain point with people.  And I decided…we cannot let anyone else’s crap affect us.   

I just read this great post about how life is too short for crappy friends.  It is unrelated.  I’m not saying this person is a crappy friend.  She just made a crappy statement.  Even if it was taken out of context by me, it was still said.  It still had a negative connotation.  It was still wrong. 

But anyway, the post I read is one of those posts that I wish I had written.  Because it made me remember that in this life, the only thing we can do right, is be our authentic selves.  That is the only thing we should focus on.  The other stuff will always come; the friends, the wishes and wants, and the blessings.  Everything tends to come to you when you become who you are meant to be. Granted, I have had a lot of life changes going on.  I moved.  My baby turned into a toddler.  And, I had extra stresses of boxes, and permits, and trip-able sidewalk slabs that had to be fixed.  But I have neglected myself and what makes me happy.  And I have lost sight of who and what is giving me the most happiness.  I think I was focused on the wrong things amongst those pesky everyday problems.  And I kind of focused on the catalyst that allowed me to change my mind set.  I refuse to let it.

Nobody can have power over you unless you let them.

This person you are, this authentic person, will be a good teacher for your children.  This lesson I learned about my catalyst, is something I can use to teach my girls how to toughen up when there is talk.  Strength comes from WITHIN. 

Talk is cheap.

And you and your children will always be disappointed by people.  But the only way I am comfortable moving forward is with my forgiveness.  And I hope I can teach my daughters to forgive. 

And I hope they also know, that it is their hugs that can stop any rainstorm in my heart and engulf me with warm sunshine.  We are one.  We are family.  Nobody can break that.

“Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people.”
― Socrates