Performance Reviews

Probably one of the most isolating thing about being a parent is not knowing how you are doing.  At work, you get a performance review every year to show you in plain writing, how well or not you are performing.  Do I meet expectations?  Will I get a bonus?  And if I receive a bonus, can I get a new pair of jeans with my winnings?  When I worked in HR, I never looked forward to my review because I didn’t like the job and I didn’t go above and beyond my job responsibilities.  But, when I worked as a consultant for learning disabled children, I couldn’t wait.  I loved my job and maybe had a feeling I would get a decent review.  Carl and Daryl…are you with me?!  J

The other night I went out for drinks with a few of my ‘mom’ friends who have quickly become my real friends, if not some of my best friends.  We talked about feeling sometimes as if we don’t get the proper kudos for doing a pretty good job at being a mom.  If I can get both of my girls dressed, fed and out the door by a certain time, I feel like I deserve a little slap on the back; a job well done.  Check off “Superb” please with a big red X and make it snappy.  On the other hand, we were five minutes late to the easter egg hunt on Saturday and missed the whole thing.  “Below expectations.”  Waaa, waaaa.

So, I have created a performance review and have filled it out for your benefit. ;)

A1  State your understanding of your main duties and responsibilities.

I clean up spit up, puke, crusty food on the floors, butts, and scattered toys.  I am in charge of raising human beings who will do anything to make my job harder.  Such things include saying No after everything I suggest, and throwing tantrums in public.  I clothe them, feed them, bathe them, and stimulate them as much as possible.  I also try my best to teach them the rules of life so that they can become a civilized member of our society.   

A2 Discussion points:

1. Has the past year been good/bad/satisfactory or otherwise for you, and why?  Good, but at times satisfactory and at other times bad.  The “good” moments are the ones that make me not want to run for the hills as I have suggested is a possible job switch in the future.  I hope those so called “hills” have reality TV and Starbucks coffee. 

2. What do you consider to be your most important achievements of the past year?  Not getting put into the looney bin.

3. What do you like and dislike about working for this organization? I like the hugs, kisses and love.  I dislike the tantrums, drama, crying, fighting, whining, not eating and sicknesses.

4. What elements of your job do you find most difficult? Mealtime, and 'See dislikes above'

A3  Score your own capability or knowledge in the following areas in terms of your current role requirements (1-3 = poor, 4-6 = satisfactory, 7-9 = good, 10 = excellent).

 

Time management  -5 Sometimes I don't realize that we should leave somewhere earlier or stay later.  Ex, taking girls to the park after school when 3 year old is tired knowing full well that she will melt down.  But, I ignore this fact and go because I want to see my friends and then she melts down.  Should have learned that I do not have enough time to squeeze in a park playdate after a full day of school.  Also, sometimes I don't judge how fast the whole, shoes, jackets, hats and gloves process takes.  It doesn't take 2.3 seconds.  It takes longer... 

Communication skills -4.5  I might raise my voice occassionally.  I said, "might"

 

Delegation skills -7 I am completely ok with anyone else taking the reigns.  Actually, I  give myself a 10 because I will delegate to anyone as long as a pedicure is in my near future.

 

Creativity-3 My imagination when playing house falls short to my daughter's creativitiy.  Needs improvement. And sometimes I end up sitting in my house because I cannot think of a thing to do that day.  Original.  Wait, and then I'll see a picture on facebook of someone at this new museum riding some crazy animal and I'll think to myself.  FAIL.

 

Problem-solving and decision-making -  5. Satisfactory.  I have hits and misses with these chickies.  Sometimes I am able to diffuse the Dora Doll fight before it happens and other times I am knee deep in a full on tug-a-war with nothing to stop it besides a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates and one of those funny E cards going around Facebook (for a laugh)

 

Team-working 7 I am starting to master having them play together as a unit by ignoring them to the point where they must play together because they cannot get through to me  

 

Energy and determination  6 for energy. There are times that I will get dressed, put them in dresses, and take a ride on the carousel and other times I will stay in my PJ's and watch them walk around in circles until lunch.  8 for determination. I really WANT to get them out. 

 

Steadiness under pressure ?? I mean, it truly depends on the amount of coffee intake. The more coffee, the less steadiness. 

Adaptability, flexibility, and mobility-5 It depends on where we are going and how much I actually want to go.  If I truly want to go, I will make it work.  If not, I will play the "Kids" card and become extremely inflexible. "Oh you know, with the 2 kids...it is kind of hard to walk outside my door for the block party that is happening on my front lawn.  See you next year"

Personal appearance and image- 1 for day to day when nobody sees me.  Just because I don't talk about it anymore, doesn't mean it has changed.  Sweatpants and buns are my motherhood uniform.  6- for other times...completely satisfactory.  maybe I will get a 7 when I get my ombre highlights this week. 

 

 

 

**Wait...I'm a little disappointed I didn't mark higher.  Maybe this was a bad idea.