Pancake Chasing

I am having a rough few weeks, to say the least.  Nobody has been sleeping.  Everyone has been sick and/or teething and whining.  Sometimes these things are ok, all by themselves, but all at once??  Lately, I am struggling.  My positive attitude is hiding underneath the covers without me.  Wake up!  I’m fighting these battles without you.  It is one thing to have a few bad nights but it is quite another to have 2 weeks in a row with no relief.  I cannot help but think to myself…. when will it get better?  When will I find some sort of harmony?  When will my heavy heart lighten up? 

It is a Saturday morning and my husband is at basketball with his friends.  Last night, the baby was up at 2:30.  She was back down by 3 but I couldn’t fall back asleep.  I was up until 4:30 and then my toddler cried at 5:30.  At 7:00, everyone woke up crying and my husband was out the door.  Poof!  Lightning struck the house and my mood was on fire.  I want to be able to flip the switch and be happy and positive, but sometimes the snowball affect takes over and it is rolling, rolling, rolling out of control.  Someone stop the dang thing.  It is gaining momentum and I have no way to catch it. 

Breakfast time was crazy; a whiny baby and a cranky toddler, who won’t eat.  My friend and I always say how much we hate mealtime.  She always makes me laugh when she says, “I’m tired of chasing around my son with a pancake.”  Same here!  And that is exactly how the morning went.  Trying and failing; with my hair in a messy bun and batter all over my face and shirt.  Ok, it isn’t working…let’s chalk it up.  Next.

Late in the morning though, I found some sort of stride.  After breakfast, I rallied and got to that first nap.  That is when I found a little calmness.  The baby was sleeping and my toddler was playing quietly.  Things started to settle down a little bit and that is when my husband walked through the door. Thank goodness.  An extra set of hands are now here to help me.  “How was the morning” he asked.  “Madness,” I answered with a half-hearted smile.

Here’s the thing, I want to be able to enjoy every single minute with my children.  I hate to waste minutes and minutes with furrowed brows or useless scolding…or chasing my daughter waving a pancake above my head.   Let it go Noreen and relax.  But, sometimes that seems almost impossible.  I tend to find ways to make a rough day even worse.  And then I reprimand myself for the rest of the day.  When the truth is; I really just need to forgive myself and let it go.  Everything doesn’t always have to be perfect and I don’t have to be so hard on myself when it isn’t.  Right? 

So, we moved on with our day; and later on, as we sat at a table at an outside restaurant watching the trains go by, I would realize what life was all about.  I would forget the morning madness; chasing my daughter with a pancake; those insignificant bad moments and…

I would find that moment of family harmony when all is right in the world again.