Mom Hat

Rejuvenate   

To make someone or something feel younger, fresher, and more lively.

When I arrived in Punta Cana, I took my “mom hat,” off of my head and threw it in the water.  I stood for a second and watched it drift out to sea.  “See ya later!” Then, head first and feet up in the air, I dug at the bottom of my luggage and got it out…my “Noreen hat.”  I blew off the dust, put it on my head. .and ordered a dirty monkey.  “Keep em coming Leonardo…” I said. And they did.

We need it.  We need to take off that mom hat and be ourselves, even if only for a moment; in my case, a few days.  I got to walk slowly, without purpose.  I got to eat my meals slow, staring out into the water, with the sun on my face.  I got to lie at the beach or by the pool and read.  From Saturday until Wednesday, I got to be me.  I didn’t have to worry about warming bottles or meal time with my 2 ½ year old, or anything.  It has been a while.  And, I’m sorry I didn’t do this sooner.

I was so nervous to go and leave my babies.  So incredibly nervous.  I couldn’t even talk about it. But, once I was there, I trusted the grandparents would watch them well.  I knew that nothing was going to happen, and I relaxed.  Really relaxed.  Even to the point that it made my husband’s eyebrows raise.  “Wow,” he said, “I thought you would be more nervous or talking more about the kids,” I giggled.  This was my time!  My “mom hat,” was off and I enjoyed every minute of my vacation.  And now, I’m better for it.  I’m rejuvenated.  I’m fresher, happier, and more relaxed.  In turn, I know I will be a better mother.

We got home last night, right before bed time.  We took some time and gave our girls their presents.  Then, I brought my 8 month old up to bed.  I rocked her longer than usual.  I lingered with her in my arms.  I smelled her.  Hugged her.  Then, I put her to bed and she rolled over and closed her eyes.  I bathed my 2 ½ year old when I came downstairs.  We played in the tub.  I didn’t rush bed time like I usually do.  We read books with her and played longer than usual.  But more than that; I was calm and relaxed.  Happy.  I gave her big long hugs before we said our prayers.  She lay down and went to sleep without a problem.  Everything was a little easier.  Perhaps because I was more light-hearted?  Maybe, our kids feed off of us?  Maybe, I need to take that “mom hat,” off a little more often?  I think it will make everything a little less complicated and a little more tranquil.  Or maybe; I need to merge my “mom hat,” and “Noreen hat.” But how?  I guess by taking more time for myself.  Because, in the end, I know that “mom hat,” cannot define us as people.  Because then, who are we if not a mom? 

So now, I’m taking off all my hats.  And, I’m not going to define myself as one or the other.  It isn’t going to be all or nothing anymore.  It is going to be some; a little of both. 

I just hope all these things don’t fade as my tan does.