Second Child Syndrome Strikes Again

Yesterday, my baby whined from 3 pm until she went down to sleep at 6:20 pm.  No joke.  I put her down early because the whining really started to get to me.  I felt winded.  I will play with her as much as I can, but I really do have other things to get done.  It is hard to give her my constant attention.  So, here we are again; I’m holding her while I cook, while my toddler is outside playing, while I’m trying to get everything or anything done.  I try very hard to distract her with toys.  “Oh look, here’s a new toy…play with it.” (PLEASE!)  She looks at it, plays with it for a millisecond and then is back at my feet; pulling down my pants, literally!  She has a tight grip, that one.  She hangs on for dear life and doesn’t stop until she is in my arms. 

For a while, I could put her in her walker or on the ground and she would keep herself busy for a while.  It was easy.  Now, she wants to be held…All.The.Time.  Separation Anxiety?  Let’s hope, because there is a lot of holding going on in this house.  The thing is; I feel like she is already fighting and screaming for attention.  My toddler never had to fight like this.  It was just there, in her face at all times.  And, I had the time because I got everything done during naps and that early bed time.  But my poor baby; she gets substantially less attention than my toddler.  And, she knows she isn’t getting everything she needs at all times.  Oh…she lets me know.  Loudly.  “Mom,” she screams, “I’m a baby and I need all eyes on ME!”  I know, I know.  I get it.  She can’t entertain herself all day long.  She needs stimulation.  She needs developmental pushes.  I’m trying my best!   But as I sit here typing this, I think back to my toddler performing sign language at this age.  Nice job Mom?!       

I’m sure some of it is the lack of attention and the other part of it is the differences in personality.  My toddler is quiet.  My baby is loud.  My toddler suffers silently.  My baby suffers with earsplitting yells.  My toddler never liked to eat.  My baby guzzles everything in plain sight.  The two of them couldn’t be more different.  When thinking of one word to describe my baby right now, it is feisty.  I’m sure she has to be.  She is feisty and she wants whatever her older sister has.  She is in hog heaven when she gets at my toddler’s dollhouse.  Forget it.  She gives the biggest smiles as she holds the miniature mommy; sticking it in her mouth for good measure.  It is hilarious.  She is always crawling after her older sister; standing up next to her, looking from side to side.  She already wants to be like her.  My second child already wants everything her sister had in the past and has now.  I can’t imagine what the future holds for them.  It will get easier in some ways, but harder in others.  I’m ready for it.  I want to make sure these girls get what they need.  I want to make both my children feel like number one.  What a task?!   

When push comes to shove, the second child has to fight for attention, but at the same time I’m hoping this will help her become independent.  She is getting the space that she needs to grow into the beautiful, wonderful lady she was meant to become.  We will help her; my toddler and me.  We will help her feel loved.  We will help her grow.  We will help her know that she is nothing less than the central most important person in all of our lives; because she keeps us on our toes!