50 Shades of...

I promise this post will not be risky.  Sorry.  Please don’t hide your disappointment.  Have you read Fifty Shades of Grey?  4 people recommended it to me.  When I asked what it was about, they replied, “Just read it.” So I picked it up and read it without knowing what on earth it was about.  True story.  Every alarm went off in my head; smoke alarm, burglar alarm, fire alarm…I mean clearly someone was trying to take something from me.  Who is this woman that talks to her inner goddess on a daily basis?  Do they even write books like this anymore?  But, everyone is talking about it and reading it.  I got my nails done 2 weeks ago, and they were talking about it.  I overheard a few women talking about it at the gym; in the grocery store; at my toddler’s gym class.  It is everywhere.  So, I’m reading it.  I’m currently finishing the first one.  Who knew?

 I really started thinking about the ‘50 shades’ aspect of it.  The main character, Christian is a mysterious personality who possesses so many different sides of himself which his past helped to shape.  There is a dark controlling side, but also a very funny and loving side.  To be honest, his character made me think.  Because, the truth is; we all have the power to hold 50 shades of ourselves…to ourselves.  Isn’t that right?  We aren’t the same person every minute of every day.  We all have different shades, sides, aspects of ourselves. Granted, I’m sure they aren’t as up and down as Christian’s sides, but they are there, nonetheless.  Even though I’ve kind of always been a, “what you see is what you get,” girl, I’m noticing more facets of myself through experiencing motherhood and everything that it offers and lacks. I mean, the lack of sleep illustrates the patience I need and the time I miss.  I’m not the same person I am with 8 hours that I am with 5.  Another shade of myself I didn’t know until motherhood.  The patience I have and the patience I don’t have.  The way I care about things I never cared about before.  The depth of worry I never had until motherhood.  But the deeper meaning everything holds is heightened now in a beautiful way.  The sense of fluttery, buttery, heart-felt love is there; and I hear it in music and see it in books, which I haven’t seen or heard before my babies.  Connections are stronger.  Friendships mean more.  I’m happy, sad, emotional, strong, guarded, open, guided, loved, tired, full of energy….I’m not fifty shades of grey…I’m  fifty shades of... color.  Right?!  Aren’t we all?     

What has this book taught me?  Hold your snicker.  Nothing like that.  I mean, it is teaching me something else more substantial than that.  People are flocking to this book because it is making people feel.  And, that is what we all want; to feel something extraordinary.  Sometimes, our daily life gets boring; mundane.  We need more.  I’m not saying we need Christian Grey or what he represents.  But, we do need to get to know the fifty shades of ourselves that we all encompass.  To own it.  To own ourselves and know ourselves.  We need to awaken, to feel, to laugh, to love, and to breathe in the feelings of life that we may be missing.  Or, maybe we don’t see it.  But, we need to.  We need to see and feel and embody; fifty shades of everything…    
Thank you Christian Grey!  As fu*ked up as you are, you made us all open up our eyes and experience something more.