Baby Fat

This morning I decided to have coffee with the fatty creamer…and nobody was stopping me.  It was one of those mornings.  I needed a little substitute for happiness that came in the form of International Delight, French Vanilla.  And as I drank all of that ‘corn syrup,’I smiled.  It was worth it.  Sigh. 

But, sometimes it is not worth it. Because, there are things that happen or moments that shock me into reality.  Wait, I’m not the fit girl I once was?  I think about my college cheerleading days when I used to do back handsprings and layouts and now I’m sure I would land square on my head; post c-sections.  If I recall, I tried to show my friend that I could still do the ‘ab roller,’ and proceeded to fall straight on my face/belly.  I guess I’m not ready for that?!  Fine.  One day soon?  I hope.

I went to a playgroup yesterday afternoon with some wonderful mom’s.  My baby was crawling around on the floor and as I got up to change her diaper, my pants slipped down in the back.  Now, maybe in high school this would have been somewhat ok, but now it is just plain foul.  “I apologize for that,” I said to my friends.  And my friend said something about how being a mom is not pretty sometimes.  I agreed.  And then I went home and thought about it.  A lot. 

Look, I don’t want to say that being a mom isn’t beautiful because I know sooo many beautiful moms.  They look great; have creamy skin and a fit little figure.  But it is just not me right now.  It isn’t that I don’t try, because I do.  But, I just can’t help but wonder why it is so dang hard to get rid of this baby fat.  I mean, I’m 8 months post-section.  You would think I would have things under control.  But, just when I think I might, I look down and those love handles give me a warm welcoming smile.  “Hey there,” they say, “we are still here.”  They are there to remind me that going into the dressing room isn’t fun anymore.  “Don’t even think about a bikini,” they sneer curling their upper lip.  And then they follow it with, “did you ever hear of spanks?”  Yes I have, jackass.

Don’t get me wrong, I love myself, blah blah blah, and embrace my body, yadda yadda yadda.  But, I am still trying to improve myself.  I love my babies, but I don’t want anymore remnants of them on my hips.  I want to be a good mom, but I also want to feel good!  Beautiful.  In shape.  I want to be able to kick those love handles to the curb and give a long, outstretched wave goodbye.

So, I will continue to fight the good fight.  Try as I may, to once and for all…get rid of this baby fat, which is continuing to threaten my inner goddess; and feel like a beautiful mom; both inside and out.