I was talking to my friend today and she said, “as much as
this is a celebration of them, it is also a celebration of us.” Damn straight. We are moms!
We are warriors! I think I’m
going to buy myself something pretty in celebration. Congratulations to me. I did it.
Because let’s be honest, the first year is the HARDEST! And, as I think about this year gone by, I
think about her and the wonderful 1 year old she has become, but I think about
me, and how much hard work I put into making that happen.
I think about one year ago Sunday, when I was laying on that
table, arms spread out, waiting in anticipation for our first meeting in person. I felt the pulling and tugging, I felt the fear, the dizziness, the worry of her; of me, and finally…the joy when she was out safely. Our first meeting was so amazing because she cried and cried until she was put beside me.
A moment of magic.
I had no idea what I was in for. I think about that moment and then the
million moments that followed that let me get to this place…one year
later. I am a mom. I am strong.
These
beautiful babies let us earn our stripes.
I remember the
sleepless nights. The 2 am feedings, the
4 am feedings. The witching hour, God help me.
She would cry from 5-7 pm every night. My husband would get home from work and I
would be in tears too. I remember, in the early days, she would scream bloody
murder every time she was put in the car seat.
She would cry until we reached our destination. I remember trying to find balance with my two
kids. (Still trying). I think about those moments that I just
wanted to sleep but couldn’t because I had a 2 year old to attend to. I think about utter exhaustion. I think about no time for myself and the time
instead that I spent reading to her, teaching her, following her around,
catching her before she falls…
I think about her first bump. I think about her first fall. I think about her first cough and how it
lasted a month. I think about the hard
times, yes I do. Of course I do. Because they showed me that I am a warrior
mom. We all are. We all get through the hard times. Maybe we complain a little, perhaps we find
people to lean on…and inside we know….we are all we are meant to be, in those little eyes. Because...
OH THE JOY THEY BRING TO OUR HEARTS……
I remember the first time she smiled. The first time she laughed; the giggle that
was heard round the world; loud and long.
I remember the first time she sat up by herself, so proud with those
eyebrows raised. The first time she did
patty cake all on her own. The first
time I saw her hug her sister. The first
time she woke her up with hugs and giggles.
The first time she shook her head no and how she says no to me every
night when I ask her if she is going to have sweet dreams. I think about when she crawled over to me and
put her head down on my head to snuggle.
The first time she took a step, and the first time she took a step
toward me. I remember the first time we had a true mother
daughter moment. I was putting her to
bed and singing our song, “Goodnight my love.”
I hummed the ending because I was getting tired and she just threw her
head back and laughed. It just tickled
her funny bone. It made me laugh so hard
and we just continued to make each other laugh for minutes and minutes. I thought to myself, “This little girl is a
riot!!!” We are going to have so much
fun together. The joy! It trumps everything!!!! These moments are the ones we hold on to
forever.
As hard as it is, it is beautiful all the same.
As tiring as it is, it is full of life indeed.
Happy Birthday to my angel.
One year old. What a blessing.
Congratulations to me, spending all of my time teaching a one
year old everything there is to know.
What a blessing
We are moms. We are
warriors, soldiers, fighters. We get through it and we carry on. We take the time away from ourselves to spend
it teaching our children. We are doing
it. We are doing it well. We are sacrificing, bouncing, reading, feeding, planning,
loving, and living. We are laughing with
our children with messy buns in our hair, pointing to the words with unpainted
finger nails, and balancing it all with hearts as full as can be.
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