Green Head Flies

Va.ca.tion n

A period of time devoted to rest, travel, or recreation.

Yeah right??!!

Some very smart woman once told me that sometimes life is like a tampon commercial.  You know the commercial; everyone is having a ball.  This vacation was like a tampon commercial.  It promises you will be biking and swimming, just having the time of your life.  When in reality, nature gets in the way.

We rented a house right on the beach for 5 days.  High expectations.  Don’t we always go into things with very high expectations?  I’m picturing myself sitting in a beach chair while my kids build a sandcastle under the umbrella on a nice warm, but not too warm day. 

Reality Check

Baby is crawling into the sun, throwing her hat off, climbing all over me, sand in the diaper.  Green head flies are biting the crap out of my kids, and me and it is a blazing 90 degrees. 

Dang it.  I’m always getting caught up in the near perfect image in my head.  But the reality of it is that it will not ever be perfect.  It just isn’t possible.

The truth is, it is like we plopped our house on the beach and someone said, “have fun doing the laundry and cleaning up toys.” I know, I know, I have kids.  In turn, it shouldn’t be called a vacation anymore; it should be called a family business trip. If you aren’t at a resort, it isn’t a vacation.  Get a clipboard and a pen, it’s going to be a long night packing up the car.  Do we have everything?  Should I break out the stopwatch and whistle?  It is going to be even longer unpacking.  But it is the in-between that involves an array of emotions.  Because that is where it all happens.  There are new surroundings and people.  We have new beds and rooms. 

New everything = crapshoot.   

Will they sleep?  Will they eat?  How many meltdowns will they have? 

Pretty good, not really, and around 3 or 4.  Not bad. 

There were moments where I felt completely at peace and then there were times that I was counting down the minutes until bedtime.  There were moments of great fun and then moments of utter exhaustion.  I really don’t like when people say this, but here it goes…”it is what it is.”  We are parents.  We have small kids.  We have to take care of them and try and keep normalcy, no matter where we are.  There were moments where I felt like I belonged in crazy Ville.  And there were moments that I was so so so happy to be watching my kids play in the sand.  There were moments when I was holding a crying baby and trying to get a whiney toddler to eat, and then there were moments of quiet and stillness. We squeezed in beach days, a few dinners out, and a trip to the amusement park.  We got beautiful pictures and the kids had lots of fun and laughs. 

We didn’t get a ton of quality family time, though.  Between the naps, food shopping, cleaning, cooking, diaper changes, baths, bedtime, etc…. there wasn’t much “time.” It was just a constant flow of movement. In and out the door.  Up and down to the beach.  In and out of bathing suits.  In the ocean, and out for sunscreen.  Back and forth to the house for meals and naps. Ups and downs.  Rising to the occasion and falling flat.  Wonderful and the not so wonderful.   Then the trip was going, going, going….gone.  And now we need to decompress. 

I realized something on my not-so-perfect vacation.  I realized that life is not ever going to be what you expect it to be.  It is going to be what you make of it.  It is going to be what you craft together with your hearts and souls and weave with your minds and intentions.  Sometimes I get lost in my intentions. And, maybe it doesn’t always measure up to the perfect image in our heads.  Sometimes people don’t measure up to what we expect of them.  Oftentimes, our kids will not act perfect in front of others. 

But all of these things are ok.  They are ok with me.  I know I’m doing the best I can for my family.  I know I’m trying to create the best life for my kids.  I’m trying to have the best times.  And even though it gets hard and there will be hiccups, I know that all of this trying and loving will pay off in the end. 

I know that life isn’t perfect.  I know that I’m not perfect.  I will never claim to be.  

But I do know this…

I know that in the end, my not-so-perfect vacation will end up being one that I will look back on with fondness and treasure in my heart, green head flies and all….