On Saturday, my hairdresser put bleach blonde highlights in
my hair instead of “just a tad lighter,” as I asked. I mean, WHITE!!! My over processed hair started breaking off
at the ends as I brushed it. My palms
got sweaty and my heart started pounded.
“What the????” I thought. “OMG, I HATE IT,” I said. “FIX IT!!!”
She honestly did the best she could (2 rounds of glaze) and after 4
hours, I was DONE! “I’m done. I don’t care how it looks!”
She dried it and I looked at myself, skeptically. “Are you ok,” she asked. “I’m ok,” I responded. “I guess I just have to own
this Kim Kardashian look for 6 weeks.”
And I will. Because I’m 34 and I
don’t give a flying *&%@ what anyone thinks!!!!! (Even my husband who said that he likes my
hair brown). PSSST! Whatever
It took a long time
for me to get to this place; a place where I can feel confident enough to own
my over-processed bleach blonde F’ed up highlights. I made it… (They actually aren’t that
bad. They’ve grown on me)…
But what about my
girls…
Every morning, when my 4 year old daughter gets all ready
for the day, she asks me, “How do I look?”
I always answer, “Well how do you feel?”
She says, “I feel great.” And I
say, “Well, that is all that matters.
Then she asks, “Do I look sooo beautiful?”And I say, “Being
beautiful is all about how you treat people and how you feel about yourself.”
Cue the glazed over eyes.
That glassy look.
Bueller?
She looks away and asks if I like her headband. Sniff, gruff, <>
“Yes, I do. And yes you are beautiful inside and out.” Baby steps.
*
7 in 10 girls believe they are not good enough or do not measure up in some way
including their looks, performance in school and relationships
* 80% of children who are 10 years old are afraid of being fat.
* More than 90 percent of girls – 15 to 17 years – want to change at
least one aspect of their physical appearance, with body weight ranking the
highest
~Source,
Heart of Leadership
Staggering, right?! I’m
scared for my girls!!!!!!!!! How did I
get through it? I literally have no
idea. Of course I struggled with my
looks and my body throughout my life. Of
course! I am only human. But, how do I avoid this focus on beauty for
my girls?? Rather, how will I get
them through it?
I was thinking about it a lot this week; the concept of
beauty. (Since my highlight debacle). Finally,
in my 30’s I’m starting to understand it a little bit more. Sort of! I think when you figure out who you
are and what you like about yourself, it just kind of falls into place. I think it stems from a basic understanding
of ourselves as well as from one of our New Year’s resolutions;
acceptance. Accepting ourselves is the
first step. How are we doing with that?
But, these feelings of acceptance do not happen
overnight. It takes time to grow and
time to allow ourselves to let it in with open arms and give it a big old bear
hug. You’re in! Allowing ourselves
to feel beautiful the way we are is an amazingly beautiful concept. It is one in which we must teach our children.
How do we do it? We
need to get to a place where we can feel happy and comfortable with ourselves as
adults (even with bleach blonde highlights).
It is the only way we can help our children navigate through this world
where self-esteem is the biggest issue to tackle of all, particularly for our
girls. But, this can apply to boys
too…because what applies to everyone is summed up in one word, strength. In fact, in order to get there, we have to
kind of “unlearn” or “redefine,” if you will, what we have been shown
throughout our lives with images and slogans.
Be strong enough to forget about it all…and remember who we are and what
makes us special and drill this concept into our children’s brains. Fill it up so it overflows.
“You are strong. You are special. You are beautiful. You are everything in between. You don’t need to look like that or act like
them. You are your own person and you
are beautiful the way you are!”
If they get it at home, will they
need it elsewhere?
I wonder.
With that same thought however, the sad truth is that we
cannot shield our children from the media blitz. Slogans and images invade our minds; our
children’s little precious, easily molded minds; images of beauty only being
about what is on the outside, skin deep. Make-up, underwear, clothing, etc. It is that idea of IDEALS. What we think
we need to strive for; a place where most of us in the REAL world, cannot
get. But, that is quite alright with me
at my age. And, it is going to be quite
alright with my girls, if I have anything to do with it. (I hope!)
We do NOT need to strive to be Victoria Secret models. We can strive to be comfortable in our own
skin, however that is for you.
I want to drill it in.
Being beautiful is about what is INSIDE!!! Goodness!
It is to smile on the outside and make others smile on the inside. That is beautiful. I love beautiful people. They are the ones that listen and care. They are the one who open the door for me and
ask me about how I’m doing. They are the
ones who come in every size and shape, but I find them beautiful nonetheless. They are beautiful on the outside because
they are beautiful on the inside. We
need to forget about what the world tells us is beautiful. Too skinny, too strung out, too much of
anything is never good. Not
beautiful! We need to redefine beauty!
Beautiful is learning how to own ourselves.
We can all rock what we got. It
is teaching our children to love themselves just the way they are.
I hope I can teach my girls to be stronger than what they are told by
the world and what they see.
I hope all of our children can reinvent the wheel for the future and
redefine what is beautiful.
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