Renaming the Ages

I remember when I was pregnant with my first, I was always warned of the “terrible two’s.”  “Watch out,” they would say.  I feared the terrible two’s like getting a flat tire, like somehow you won’t be prepared for it and you won’t know what to do, i.e.…the tantrums in public, the whines and cries.  How will I stop it?  I mean, how embarrassing, right?!  The one way you can make yourself look like an unfit mother; take your 2 year old child out during the witching hour and if he/she skipped a nap.  CRASH AND BURN!

But, the thing is I sailed through the terrible two’s with my first.  She rarely threw tantrums in public.  The worst she would do was drop to her knees in the middle of the mall if she didn’t get what she wanted.  She wouldn’t cry.  She would just drop to her knees.  No big deal.  I would pick her up and walk out.  Now my second…that is another story.  She does the whole bit.  She rolls around, kicks her legs, and cries tears like she won’t have any left ever again.  For the love of God!  But for some reason, I don’t take it seriously.  I kind of laugh it off.  You have to.  Otherwise, these things can and will eat you alive.  We can’t take it as seriously because they are still babies.  They are just starting to truly ‘get it.’  Sincerely, I don’t find the two’s to be terrible.  I find them to be tolerable.  As long as you keep a sense of humor, I am renaming the ‘terrible two’s,’ the TOLERABLE TWO’S.  We are grown adults.  They are babies.  We can take it. 

Bring on the three’s…

SASS!  SPUNK!  TALK-BACK!  What do they call the three’s?  I call them the F’ING THREE’S!

I warned my friend with 2 year old twins.  “Just wait,” I said.  I hate to be the person that says, “Just wait.”  Who likes her?  But, I had to warn her.  At 3, they get it, they know what they want, and they are NOT afraid to fight for it.  They fight with you, with siblings, with friends, with the cashier at the grocery store…anyone.  They want what they want.  Everything is a battle.  Life is a struggle.  It is actually pretty scary! 

I love my one friend that always talked about “age appropriate behavior.”  She always made me feel better. 

“Oh, she is kicking you at bath time…age appropriate.” 

“You know, the refusal to eat is age appropriate behavior.” 

“She won’t go to bed?  Age appropriate.”

That could be my favorite line.  Chalk it up.  You know what, at the time some things seemed hopeless.  At times, I felt like a terrible mother.  How could I raise a human being that does THAT?!  But now I know…they grow out of it.  They grow into something so beautiful and wonderful that I call, “The FANTASTIC FOUR’S!”

“Mommy, I think putting up the Christmas tree with my family is the best thing ever,” my 4 year old said on Sunday.  “The lights are so gorgeous and the ornaments are so sparkly.”  Fantastic!  Positive and happy.  Making deals.  Lots of smiles.  “I’m tired,” she said last night, “I’m ready for bed.”  GOLDEN!  Don’t get me wrong, there are still tantrums and overtired meltdowns.  We still have the TUDE, but on the whole, I would say, this is the best age so far.  I’m having a ball with my 4 year old.  I can’t wait to see what is next!  Tell me it just gets better.  I think it does. 

In the end, there are wonderful things about every age that is for sure.  But, we do have to “get through” some things to come out on the other side.  We have to get through the ‘tolerable two’s’ and fight with the “F’ING THREE’s” and combat the “FANTASTIC FOUR’S.”  We get through them and we come out smiling on the other end.  We say to ourselves, “looking back, that wasn’t so bad.”  And, we know in our hearts, the best is yet to come…

Who knows, maybe the five’s are fabulous?!  But, it seems to me, after years 1-4, nobody is counting anymore.