Thankful for No

I took my 2 girls to get their hair cut at this very cute little girly place that is a salon and spa for young girls and specializes in birthday parties.  A birthday party was finishing up when we got there to get their hair trimmed.  The birthday girl and her mom were packing up to leave when the little 7 year old girl started throwing a full out, grunting and screaming tantrum.  The growls sounded like something out of a scary movie.  She screamed, stomped her feet, and yelled, “I want my presents!”  She said this as she rolled a suitcase filled with American Girl Dolls.  She dragged the dolls as she squealed and screeched at her mother.  My girls and I just watched.  We couldn’t look away.  I kind of wanted to shield their eyes from it, “Ahhh, DON’T LOOK AT THAT!  Don’t get any IDEAS!!!!!”  But, I let them watch the 20 minute catastrophe unfolding in front of our very eyes.  The hair dresser looked at me and I looked at her, a mutual understanding.  This went above and beyond a regular tantrum.  We have all seen our fair share of tantrums and have to deal with them, but THIS…this was different.

Finally she said and I quote, “In all the years I’ve worked here, I’ve never seen anything like that!”

“How do I NOT get there,” I replied. 

She didn’t say anything but I knew the answer.  I let it simmer in the air around me echoing through the screams.  We don’t get there when we have the ability to say, “No.”  One word.  It is as simple as that.  Do not give our children everything they want.  If we do, we will end up shelling out $500 for a birthday party that only ends in ungratefulness, tantrums and bratty behavior.  They will take, take, take and never learn how to be content with what they have.  They will always EXPECT more!  They will always be searching for the next gift, the next day, the next best thing.    Yes, yes, yes, here, here, here will turn into demand, demand, demand!  STOMP, STOMP, SCREEEEAAAAMMMM!!!!!

My girls and I talked about the behavior we saw afterward.  My 4 year old was very well aware of the fact that she was acting up.  I said, “Well, what did you think about that?”  She said, “She wanted her presents.  But, if she keeps acting like that, she shouldn’t get anything.”  I laughed.  Right, I thought.  Good girl.  You don’t get what you want by throwing a fit.  I gave her a high five.  “You got it.” 

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the ability to say no.

I am thankful I can be strong enough to create limitations in our house.  I am hopeful that these limitations will result in positive behavior in the long run.  I am hoping that my girls can sit at the Thanksgiving table and tell me what they are grateful for.  I trust that I can teach them that the things they should be most grateful for aren’t things at all.  That having the best princess dolls or the best birthday party doesn’t and shouldn’t be relevant.  Neither should having the best cars or houses or designer jackets.  By setting barriers, I pray I can find a way to teach my girls how to be content with what they have and be thankful for anything extra.  This world has changed and people seem to care A LOT about the things they have or don’t have.  I am hoping that we can get back to the basics.  We can sit down, around a table, fold our hands together and be thankful for the blessings in our lives.  I am going to make an effort to do just that; be grateful for everything I do have.      

After all, what matters the most, is what we do with our hearts and our time.  Happy Thanksgiving!