Mistakes and all...

I recently read a blog about a mom talking about how she makes mistakes and then forgives herself.  I really loved her post.  Of course it feels good to hear someone say that they  make mistakes.  And of course it makes me feel bonded with the writer because she must forgive herself for those miskes.  I completely agree, we will make mistakes and we do need to forgive ourselves if need be.  On the flip side however, I do think that moms these days are extremely hard on themselves.  What I notice from blogs and moms posting on facebook, etc., is that they want the best for their children.  Yes!  I get it.  You want the best for your children.  Of course.  No brainer.  BUT, with that on their minds, they put so much pressure on themselves to be perfect.  Perfect food, perfect play, perfect everything.  Lots and lots of pressure.  Who can live up?

I did like that post Alot.  In fact, I’m sure I wrote one or two about the same thing.  But, now I’m thinking, why do we even need to constantly forgive ourselves? It is exhausting.   As long as we are doing the best that we can for our children, we do not need to be forgiven.  We just need to live and be happy with the job we are doing.  We might yell, we might scream, we may look at our IPhone a little too much, and we may not know how to handle a tantrum the “right” way.  What we do is good enough because we are trying.  We are human.  In fact, mistakes make us better!      

I went out to dinner with my friends the other night and we were talking about how we can’t really remember “playing” with our mothers.  They worked or kept the house and brought us to school and picked us up and talked with us.  But, we couldn’t recall lots of ‘on the ground’ playing.  That isn’t to say they didn’t, I’m just saying, our moms took care of us.  And I know for a fact, they didn’t worry so much about everything else.  My one friend talked about how she remembers getting so excited when her mom pulled out the craft box and they made beach scenes.  She thinks it happened ONE time, but it was enough to make her remember.  It was enough for her to have FOND memories about her childhood: one afternoon at the craft table.  My mom did a really awesome Edith Ann impression.  Remember??  Edith Ann and that’s the truth! 

I remember one time sitting in the back of our car with a couple of other kids.  It was definitely late because the car was dark and my mom did the Edith Ann impression for all of us.  We loved it.  We laughed!  I don’t know how many times she did it in my life, but I remember that as her playing with us.  I remember playing a lot by myself.  I believe that allowed me to be a very independent person.  I believe it developed my imagination.  That is what kids need to do; be strong, independent thinkers.  They need to be able to find a stick and make up a story.  Mommy shouldn’t always be there, rocking and cradling and co-sleeping and giving in.  The best thing we can teach our children is how to be independent.

I hope you understand what I am saying.  I am trying to say that we don't have to put added pressure on ourselves to do the best crafts and get on the floor to spend hours playing with our kids.  What we are doing is enough, even if it is a little or even if it is alot.  AND, making mistakes is ok.  It is part of parenting!

I know I make mistakes, TRUST ME, I know.  But, I also know that I am doing the best I can.  And I don’t think I need to forgive myself because I am happy with the job I’m doing, mistakes, imperfections and all.