Under Control

I was in the grocery store a couple of months back and there was a mom there that was pushing her shopping cart forward while pulling her triple stroller behind her filled with screaming kids.  Hands. Full!  Yikes.  I had to look away.  She looked weary and I kind of smiled to myself for some reason.  Not at her expense, just because….Just because I wasn’t her.  It made me smile.  Is that mean?  I hope not.  It isn’t meant to be mean because I do really feel for her.  It looked hard.   But I was thankful for a calm morning at the grocery store.  I was happy it wasn’t me, that time. 

My friend (with 3 kids) texted me a few weeks later…

“Went to the grocery store today with (3 year old) son in the cart and (6 month old) in the baby Bjorn.  Passed a man who said, ‘boy, u have your hands full.  I didn’t know if I wanted to tell him to F off or tell him no but thanks I am enjoying life and have everything in control.  Then, I looked down and my boob is leaking.”

I started laughing…hard!  I LOVE getting texts like this because it always makes me feel human.  AND…it makes me laugh…not at her expense…but because it is hard and I get it.  Just when she thought she had everything under control, she looks down and sees that.  Shear comedy.  And that poor innocent man who we all just want to give the finger!  Can’t he keep his mouth shut and just smile at the baby?  Move on down that aisle old man.  Keep walking.  I love those people that have an unwelcomed opinion about everything.  I think things like this about other people and about myself sometimes, but I don’t say it.  You don’t say it.  The voices in our heads don’t always have to make a sound.  I got the text when I was alone and on my way to the store.  My parents were watching the girls.  I was happy it wasn’t me, that time.

Yesterday I took my girls to get my afternoon coffee.  I squeezed it in before nap; squeezed in tight and through a minuscule window of opportunity.  Squeezed like 10 lbs of potatoes in an 8 lb sack.  Remember when I laughed at the lady in the grocery store and at my friend’s text.  Remember when I was happy it wasn’t me.  Hi Everyone!!!  My turn.  My lips pressed into a straight, hard line and my arm pits perspired profusely in the 10 minutes I was there.  Everything was absolute craziness because both girls decided to go a little mad at the same time.  From waiting on line, to paying the cashier, to waiting for the coffee….madness!!!!  Sweaty!  Uncomfortable!  Impatient!  MESS!  The funniest thing about it was that I saw my friend’s husband working quietly at the table. I attempted to say hello.  He can vouch for this.  I think I tried to have a conversation with him.  I think.  But, all I saw was a crying, messy 3 year old and a baby/toddler running off in another direction.  My peripheral vision was ON HIGH ALERT!   I FAILED!  (F-)  I’m sure he was happy it wasn’t him as well as everyone in that place!

It makes me smile though…all of it. (Right now at least) 

If we don’t take it too seriously, we can all get through it fine. 

If we can laugh about it.

 If we can keep our head about it.    

If we can stay calm. 

If we can always remember that it won’t always be like this. 

If we can smile at the hard moments and at the beautiful ones just the same….

If we can trust ourselves when others doubt us.

If we can, we will! 

Shock Value

I was in Starbucks the other day holding my 1 year old.  An older man, probably in his early 70’s commented on how cute she was.  He went on to ask me if she was my first.  I told him it was actually my second.  (My 3 year old was home with grandma).  He responded, “I had 3,” and rolled his eyes.  I said, “How was that?”  He made me laugh when he said, “By the 3^rd one, you forget about them and just leave them everywhere.”  I left the store giggling to myself. 

But, it got me thinking….

Clearly he was joking but it led me to question; is the shock over by the 3^rd?  So, I went on a hunt.  I’ve been talking to other moms and dads about what they think the biggest shock was to them.  Was it the shock of their first brand spanking new baby?  What??  I’m in charge of THIS!!!! HOW? Or, is it when the 3^rd one arrives?!  “Two of us.  3 of them.  Do the math.

After talking, asking, and wondering, I have come to these semi-conclusions

0-1

It is a lifestyle shock.  Your entire life will now completely change (if you are a good parent at least).   It isn’t feasible to do late nights out, multiple times a week.  If you do, you feel like complete crap when you have to wake up at 5 in the morning or earlier, or even a couple of times at night.  Sleep deprivation is big.  Those people, who used to be able to sleep until 10 am on the weekends, now have to get used to the “new”morning.   

Rise and shine Mommy and Daddy, baby is awake and needs a bottle, a diaper change, and entertainment.  I hope you aren’t hung-over.

Not only do you have to get used to a lifestyle change, you have to get used to the idea of being selfless.  You can’t go from here to there to here and there again.  Well, you can but make sure to have a strong arm to hold that heavy carrier seat.  And make sure to have a bottle, burp clothes, snacks as they grow, and some toys…maybe a blanket to lay down on the floor, a binky, a sweatshirt in case it gets cold, extra diapers and wipes, a change of clothes in case they spew on themselves, ETC, ETC, ETC. 

You are a family now.  Your baby is your TOP PRIORITY!  Soooooo….get ready to WORRY about this top priority.  New parents reach a whole new level of anxiety. 

Are they sleeping too long?  Check their breathing. 

WHY DID SHE JUST SPIT UP SO MUCH?  Is she sick? 

Should I Google why my baby is not rolling over yet at 3 months??!    

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Finding time for yourself gets easier as the baby gets older, but when that baby is born (and through that first couple of months), get ready to have some shaggy hair, tired eyes, and a baby in your arms at most times.  AND…get ready to rely heavily on HELP---any way you can get it.  1 baby…Welcome to parenthood! 

Shock Value-7

1-2

Divide and conquer?!  ---OR, get ready for them to conquer you!!!  Haha!  When my second daughter was born, I headed straight to the doctor within the first 2 weeks because I couldn’t catch my breath.  “Are you overwhelmed?” the doctor asked me.  “No,” I responded.  “I’ve done this before.”  “You’ve had 2 children before??”  Ummmmm….no.  Am I in for it?  Is this anxiety?  Am I in shock?

With 2, you must divide your time, energy and responsibility.  At first, it is extremely overwhelming.  You have late nights again with the baby and then managing your bundle of energy toddler during the day??!  Wait…when do I put down my screaming infant to tend to my screaming toddler??? If it was a weighted scale, it would be hovering on even.  At that point, you just have to juggle it.  You have to figure it out.  That attention that overflowed with 1 gets cut in half with 2.   “Me” time also gets cut in half.  When you had one and he or she slept, you were good.  You had time to unwind.  It was nice.  Ahhhh, we would lay on the couch on a Sunday afternoon and drift off watching football.  With 2, one is always up and in need of your attention.  Now you have 2 meals at a time, 2 butts to wash, 2 bed time routines, 2 babies to keep happy; double the work.  Double as hard.  When talking to other moms, I have found that 1-2 is the Biggest Shock of all.  All of the sudden, one seems like a breeeeezzzzeee!  Remember when?! 

Shock Value-8.5

2-3

Numb to the chaos. 

I was at the park last week and a random grandmother was there with her grandson.  We started talking and she asked me if I was going to “go for the boy.”  I’ve probably heard that 40,000 times.  But, I don’t mind much.  It doesn’t really bother me.  “If I did, I know I would get a girl,” I said honestly and with a smile. 

“3 is a big decision,” she responded.  “You have to think about the expense of children.” 

Uh huh.  (Nodding my head).  Gotcha.  As if I didn’t know that random grandma stranger.   Thanks for the tip.

Drawbacks of 3: It is harder to get someone to watch your 3 kids.  People are less likely to want to babysit with 3 versus 1 and 2.  (So I’ve heard)

I don’t have the experience of going from 2-3 but I have talked to a lot of moms who have.  They found it to be manageable.  Even my mother-in-law said that having the third wasn’t as hard.  You are already knee deep in.  I hear that with the third, you can enjoy the baby; relish in those coos.  You’ve done it all so you aren’t nervous anymore.  Do you still need to check their breathing when they are sleeping?  Not unless you are really a nervous Nelly!  By the 3^rd, you know they will be fine.  You’ve got it.  By the third, you can sit back and enjoy…as I’ve heard.  Doesn’t sound so bad?  But, it isn’t for everyone because you have to be ready to really be spread thin and time to yourself seems to be of the essence.  But, they play together nicely and you can sit back and watch your lovely family enjoy each other!

Shock Value-4

For me, the shock of 1-2 was definitely harder than 0-1.  Juggling the time and attention is something I take seriously.  I don’t want anyone to feel slighted.  I hope they will grow up without comparisons and with the feeling of being equally loved and cherished.    It was a shock for me but one that gets easier as they grow and as time marches on …

So, what was your biggest shock with expanding your family?  Comment below or share on the ‘Growing Ladies’ facebook page

http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Growing-Ladies/228182840619992?bookmark_t=page

Reasons Why

Reasons why I love age 3.

Reason 1: This afternoon my 3 year old went on the potty and when she finished, she looked in the toilet and said, “Look at that little guy.  Hi, little guy...aren’t you so cute,” waving her little pointer finger at the poop.  When she flushed it away, she waved her hand and said, “Bye cutie pie.”   I mean??!!  I nearly peed my pants.  She can be so funny and cute and sweet.   Such a pleasure to be around!   

Reason 2:  My daughter is obsessed with time right now.  She is always asking what time it is and how long something lasts.  Particularly, she talks about clocks.  But, when she talks about it, she doesn’t enunciate the letter L in the word so it sounds like, “C_OCKS.”.  This morning we had a 5 minute conversation about “clocks.”  She said, “I don’t like clocks.”  And, “everyone has clocks, right mommy?!”  “There is a clock in this room and that room too, right?”   She went on and on and on.  Imagine how that sounded to me?!  I was in hysterics.   And, she laughed so hard because I laughed so hard.  We were buddies.  We were laughing together about an inside joke that she will never know about (at least until she is 18).  Nonetheless, it was the funnies thing EVER!

Reasons why I don’t love age 3.

Reason 1:  Yesterday, I had a few friends over for a small playgroup.  My 3 year old daughter threw one tantrum after another.  I was a little embarrassed with her behavior, to be honest.  She wanted me to push her on the swings and when I couldn’t, she cried.  She didn’t want to share her toys and when I made her share, she cried.  She didn’t want to go in the basement, she wanted to go outside and when we didn’t, she cried.  OH MY GOD!  For the love of everything human…..

Reason 2:  Last week, we went to visit my family in Michigan.  When we got to the security check point at the airport, my daughter would NOT give up her backpack to put through the scanner.  Would not!!!  When I took it off her back, she threw herself to the floor and spun around on her back.  Everyone around was staring at our misfortune with pissed off looks on their faces.  We were holding up the line.  HOLY CRAP!  Is this a joke??!

*********************************************************************

Reasons why I love age 1

Reason 1:  We got home from Michigan on Sunday evening and I was so tired on Monday.  When my 1 year old woke up from her nap, I put her next to me on the couch and we snuggled for 20 minutes.  She put her head on my head and it was so sweet and cozy.  She patted me on the head and I really believe there is nothing better in the whole wide world.  I drifted off a little bit here and there and for a moment our house was quiet and at peace.  She was loving and gentle and beyond her year… 

Reason 2, 3, and 4: She is toddling around holding her belly.  She is walking everywhere and loving life.  When we were on the plane, she wanted to look at the window and see the clouds.  She is so curious.  She points to everything, gives me books to read to her, and laughs when my 3 year old does something funny.  She babbles.  She hugs and kisses.  She waves to strangers.  Bliss.

Reasons why I don’t love age 1

Reason 1:  She always wants to be moving, so it was pretty much a nightmare on the plane to Michigan.  She was throwing herself around, screaming, and carrying on.  She was tired but didn’t want to go to sleep.  She was throwing her head back and hitting it on the side of the plane.  Out of control!!!!!  We were those people.  We got the looks and we deserved it!  1 hour and 15 minutes literally felt like 4 LONG, SLOW HOURS!  WOW!

Reason 2:  Yesterday at playgroup, she was also off her game.  She wanted me to hold her at nearly every second.  She would cry when I would put her down, cranky from her afternoon nap.  If my 3 year old would cry, so would she.  It was like a one hour living nightmare and you cannot reason with a one year old.  No way.  Sometimes, there is nothing you can do.  Sometimes, your luck just runs out of steam and you are slowly chugging along trying to find a millisecond of peace while the babies are screaming, “CHOO CHOO!!!” 

*******************************************************************

…And chug along we will.  Because, I know there are highs and lows to everything.  There are good points and bad points.  Ups and downs.  Sometimes everything goes completely right and you feel like there is no problem at all.  Life is good.  And then there are times that everything seems out of control.  My head is spinning and I’m waiting, waiting, waiting for something to change and relieve me.

But, I think I can handle it. 

After all, I know that soon enough, everything will go right again.  I know my girls will laugh and giggle again soon.  I know they will do cute things to make up for it.  They will hug me tight.  I know it is never that bad!  We have to take the good with the bad and realize that sometimes, it is just their age dictating their behavior (and us).  :) 

But, it is ok.  I mean, just this afternoon we were all dancing in the kitchen to Britney Spears, singing along, and shaking our hips.  My 1 year old did her first twirl and we all clapped for her.  She smiled big and bright and my 3 year old threw her head back in laughter.  That moment, I knew that this one reason was better than every tantrum and fit, because it a reason why I love being a mom.

Mom Wars

I realize that ‘mom wars’ are unsupportive in nature and stem from a difference in opinions and parenting styles. I believe the term “Mom Wars” started with the age-old stay –at- home mom vs. working moms.  But now, it has spread into other issues including attachment parenting in other words breast-feeding dos and do nots, every kind of competition (attire, hosting skills, volunteerism, education level, pedigree, house beautiful or not) and a difference in parenting styles in general.  Be happy with yourself, but not too happy, otherwise it degenerates into self-righteousness. Nothing makes people talk more than smug self-righteousness.

Self-righteous moms are the ones that whispered in the corner to discuss what you were wearing in High School are now whispering in the corner about how long you did or didn’t breastfeed.  “Oh my god, can you believe ‘so and so’ didn’t give their kid a time-out when he acted that way!”  Or, “look at her nails, how can she even go out like that.  Can’t she make time for herself?”  Sometimes they don’t even whisper.  These moms judge loudly.  “I wouldn’t do it like that,” they say.  They ask you questions and then make faces when you answer.  You know we see those faces.  Their way is the only way. Whether they say these things overtly or covertly, they spark insecurities, and create “Mom Wars!”

For the most part, most moms parent within reason.  If you are hanging your baby from a balcony window like Michael Jackson, or leaving your infant in the tub unattended, well then…get ready to be judged.  But, if you are going about your business, parenting your child the best way you can and then you are judged, I have something to say.  It isn’t you.  It’s them. These moms that think they can judge are full of phony baloney.  But I still feel like I have to answer to these silent judges.  I still want to defend myself to these moms.  Don’t we all?  Because we don’t want to ever feel inferior to anyone else.  That never feels good.

My kids ate baby food from Uncle Gerber who pureed very well “GASP!”

but I was able to breastfed both of them. “REDEEMED!! HOPEFULLY NOT TOO LONG”, they will say, “-14 months and 10 months.” Is that too long? 

I coddled a little too much at times “HOW COULD SHE?” and it has led me to fear the beginning of school and dropping her off. “WELL, SHE DESERVES THAT.” 

When my baby cries for me, I pick her up…every time “THAT BABY WILL NEVER LEARN,” I hear them saying with a judgmental tone… except at night, I let her cry if she doesn’t want to go to bed.  “COLD-HEARTED!”

Hey…I can’t win?!  Doesn’t it feel like that sometimes? 

Everyone has an opinion, I guess.  But, the best thing about all of that was that it was my decision.  I made my choices, despite the people pointing fingers telling me how it is done.  I own my mistakes.  I own my place.  Go ahead and judge if you need to if I’m not perfect about it.  But, we don’t all need to be judges and contestants all the time.  This isn’t a game show. This is life. Let’s just ‘be.’  Stop worrying about everyone else and worry about yourself. 

Look, we are all different and that is what makes the world go round.  But, we also have to develop an important concept and practice it daily, “to each her own.”  If someone wants to put their child in time-outs who cares if they do or don’t!.  If moms will NOT breastfeed because they think it is gross, that is their choice.  If Betty Sue over there wants to act like she’s got all the answers because she read the books and her kid sits nicely with his hands folded, then she will get a rude awakening at some point.  She might have fresh highlights but she doesn’t have a fresh heart.  The façade cannot last forever miss Betty Sue.  You see, Betty, if you act like you got it all together, it doesn’t mean you are better.   No siree.  Your circus show will fall flat.  Your fresh highlights will go gray. It isn’t supportive missy.  So talk it up if you need to.  Play the part.  Judge loudly.  But, soon enough you will be sitting alone with your well-behaved child and manicured nails wondering why nobody else is sitting next to you.  You created a Mom War with your guns a blazing… and now you have to sit in the aftermath of it and watch the supportive moms laugh and joke over wine.  The good ones are out there.  Let’s surround ourselves with them.

Because, at the end of the day when your kids are sleeping in their cribs or beds; whether they are sharing a room with a sibling or in bed with mom and dad; no matter how you got there, no matter what you do, it is your choice.  The best mom in the whole wide world lies within all of us.  If we all do the best we can do, we will all be able to sleep at night. And then, I guess it won’t matter what anyone says.  But I hope, for all of our sakes, that we found other moms to surround ourselves with, who support us wholeheartedly, and see the beauty in our children and in us.

In the end, however, I think it is time to let go of the strings of adolescence; it is time to grow up.  

Me first!  Anyone in?

Thirty Something

My birthday is tomorrow and I want to give myself a present for the next year, perspective.

·         Instead of getting upset with anyone who acts mean-spirited, I want to rejoice in the good people.

·         Instead of thinking of the have-nots, I want to think about what I do have.

·         Be inclusive.

·         I don’t want to get upset about all the times my baby cries, I want to enjoy the times she smiles and laughs.

·         Try and find humor in poop in the tub, peas on the floor, bite marks on my arm, getting my pants pulled down by my baby, and/or toys in the mouth at every moment.  There is humor in that, right?

·         HELLO…every CHILD has MELTDOWNS!

·         Don’t change for anyone; instead…I will be better for myself.

·         Instead of thinking of anyone in my life who has shut me out, I want to remember the ones who opened the door up wide and smiled.

·         Who cares if I cannot spend hours upon hours on myself, my nails, or my figure, I will be grateful for any time I do have to myself.

·         Note to self: The kids will eat when they are hungry; do not chase them with pancakes and milk.

·         I want to remember to enjoy every good, peaceful moment; close my eyes and take it in.

·         I don’t have to be friends with everyone.

·         Trust my gut.

·         I’m married to the best human being on earth; remember that…even when he doesn’t take out the trash or close the cupboards. ;)

·         Remember my daughter is 3, not 12; she is still a baby and needs to be that way sometimes.

·         I have to remember that I don’t need everyone to like me, as long as I like myself.

·         Sometimes it is ok to count down the minutes until bed-time.

·         Teach my children by example by showing others kindness, generosity, and compassion.

·         Things don’t equal happiness.

·         I have to remember that sometimes it is ok to be left-out; I know there is always someone who wants me around.

·         Dance more, smile often, let loose, kick-back, have fun.

·         Be a good friend.

·         My kids will be small for a short-time, please try to cherish it.

·         DO NOT get involved in mommy wars.  They are no good!

·         If I cannot be comfortable being myself around someone, I shouldn’t be around them.

·         Sometimes, the dishes can wait until morning.  So can the laundry.  So can my game of ‘Words with Friends’

·         Nothing beats girl time.

·         Don’t give in to gossip…unless it is really, really good…or…somewhat good.  ;)

·         Read to my children more; look at IPHONE less.

·         If the kids are whining a lot, not going to bed, not sleeping through the night; remember it won’t last forever, it is usually a phase and it generally lasts 2 weeks.

·         Don’t put pressure on myself. 

·         Be me.

I’m telling myself these things so that I can remember to keep perspective.  It is so easy to cry instead of laugh or to complain instead of share the good moments.  So easy.  Sometimes it is hard to remember the perspective.  As I approach my birthday, I’m giving myself a clean slate.  But, I won’t leave the bad moments out of my blog, or nobody will read it.  Haha!

Thanks for continuing to support me and read my thoughts and words.  I definitely have perspective on that.  Cheers!

My 10 Favorites!

I definitely don’t claim to know everything about babies, places and/or things.  If you want ideas of the best places, events, restaurants, and activities in Bergen county etc…read my friend Tara’s blog: http://knowitallinnj.blogspot.com/

But, I do want to say what saved my life the last 3 years in terms of raising these growing ladies. 

Picture my best Oprah voice….

“Here are my 10 favorittteeee thhiiingggsss”

1.       Music for Aardvarks.  Talk about a seamless program.  This is a music program that focuses on babies and toddlers.  I started taking my 3 year old when she was 1 and fell in love.  Every semester they have a new CD which I feel keeps it fresh and lively.  It has taught both of my daughters an appreciation for music.  All of the teachers are fun and friendly and have a way with the children.   If you live in the area and haven’t tried it yet, try it.  If you don’t have it near you, there are so many other music programs around.    

http://www.ahummusic.com/home.cfm

2.       Diapers.COM!

 It has EVERYTHING you need.  And it ships the NEXT DAY!  I’ve been down to that LAST few diapers and gotten my order in time.  Enough said.

www.diapers.com

3.       LL Bean Tote Bag (size L) –If you think it is weird that I put this on, think again.  I have used this since my 3 year old daughter was born.  It has enough space for an extended weekend trip.  It’s deep, durable, and fits both of my girls’ clothes and so much more.  It can be monogrammed and it is super cute, if you ask me.  I just got it for a friend who recently had a baby and I hope she uses it because I’m. In. Love.

http://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/33381?feat=504173-GN3&page=boat-and-tote-bag-open-top

4.       The Bar Method.  It came to my area recently, but I am ALL ABOUT IT.  If you are looking to shed some baby weight, tone up and make your muscles long and lean, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.  Go.  I LOVE it.  I’m a groupie.  Give me the t-shirt and the socks.  I’ll wear them to church.  It has child care in a fantastic room, which I haven’t utilized just yet, but I will.  The class is hard, the teachers are awesome, and the place is serene.  Try it.

http://ridgewood.barmethod.com/

5.       Stroller Strides. I so wish I had kids that sit nicely in the stroller while I worked out for an hour.  I took this class when my daughter was a baby, and I loved it.  She however, did not.  I did it for about 6 months but, I wish I could still do the class.  You meet great women who are in the same place as you, get a good work-out in, and don’t have to use child care if you can’t.  I think it is the best of all the worlds and I highly recommend it.  It is all over our area so sign up!   They also just started a boot camp class which I am going to try and I’ll tell you about it.  Visit the website to see everything they offer! 

http://www.strollerstrides.com/

6.       Rock and Play Sleeper. I didn’t have it for my first, but it was amazing for my second.  She slept in there until she was about 4 months old.  The minute I put her in it at, she slept through the night.  If you have a newborn, this is the thing to get.  Amazing.  Wonderful.  Worth every penny!  The only drawback was moving her from here to the crib.  A few bad nights.  No biggie.

http://www.target.com/p/fisher-price-newborn-rock-n-play-playard-sleeper/-/A-11699689?ref=tgt_adv_XSG10001&AFID=Google_PLA_df&LNM=%7C11699689&CPNG=baby&ci_sku=11699689&ci_gpa=pla&ci_kw=

7.       The Sound Machine!  Love this.  I use it for both of my kids.  I think it is great because you can bring a piece of home when you travel while drowning out the noise.  I am a big fan.  Just throw on that white noise and call it a day.  I use this one.  It really doesn’t make a difference which one you get.

http://www.amazon.com/DEX-Products-Sound-Sleeper-SS-01/dp/B00008439C/ref=sr_1_12?ie=UTF8&qid=1344626281&sr=8-12&keywords=sleep+sound+machines

8.       The Baby Bjourn  I used this with both of my girls until about 10 months.  They want to be close and I wanted to get things done; this solved the problem.  It is an easy contraption.  It worked when I had to run errands and didn’t want to break out the stroller.  If you have a baby under 1 year old, get it. 

http://www.target.com/p/babybjorn-baby-carrier-active-black-black/-/A-12192076?ref=tgt_adv_XSG10001&AFID=Google_PLA_df&LNM=%7C12192076&CPNG=baby&ci_sku=12192076&ci_gpa=pla&ci_kw=

9.       Plum Organic Snack Packs  Snacks on the go.  So easy.  I give it to my 1 year old and she squeezes into her mouth during a long car ride or on the go.  She likes every single one.  What a genius idea.  Seriously.  I wish I thought of this. 

http://www.toysrus.com/search/index.jsp?kwCatId=&kw=plum%20organic&origkw=Plum+Organic&f=Taxonomy/TRUS/2255957&sr=1

10.   Boogie Wipes  I use it for everything, not just boogies; wiping the face and hands.  Throw it in your diaper bag and you are good to go.  Love them.

http://www.toysrus.com/search/index.jsp?kwCatId=&kw=boogie%20wipes&origkw=boogie+wipes&f=Taxonomy/TRUS/2254197&sr=1

I would also love to hear the things that helped make little babies a little easier.  Share your ideas or thoughts in the comment section below or on my facebook page.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Growing-Ladies/228182840619992?bookmark_t=page

Over the River and Through the Woods...

My 3-year-old daughter woke up with a fever on Monday morning.  I asked her what would make her feel better.  “Going to grandma and grandpa’s house,” she said.  I was hesitant to bring her with a fever but I called my parents to ask them it was ok.  “Come!” They said.  Thank goodness, I thought.  I wouldn’t mind the help, that’s for sure.  Alright kids….to grandma and grandpa’s house we go…

The last two days, I was able to meet my friends for lunch, alone.  My parents were fine with me going out for a few hours each day.  They had it under control.  Yesterday in particular, was just so relaxing.  I met my friend at a restaurant; we had a long and leisurely lunch and then chatted afterward.  On the way home, I picked up an iced coffee from Starbucks.  I turned up the radio and acted like I was 22 again; sang at the top of my lungs, “SO CALL ME MAYBE!”  THE LIFE!

That is called rejuvenation!!!

Of course you need your mom and dad growing up.  But, once you get to college and start working, you are on your own and it feels good.  Independent.  Living the life.  Nice.  Yet, everything changes again once you settle down and have kids.  At times, you find yourself at their mercy.  “Ummm mom?  Can you come over?” I ask aloud while silently begging and pleading.  “Here is a picture of your adorable grandchildren, aren’t they cute?  Don’t you want to see them?” (Evil laugh…..waaahhhaaaahhhaaa……)

You never need your mom more.  And in my case, both of my parents.

My friend was telling me that when she was waiting for the closing of her house, she stayed with her parents.  “It was the best,” she said.  Life is easier when you have those extra hands, and especially when mom is there.  I know what she means….

My mom can brush my daughter’s hair and make it look gorgeous.  She never raised her voice when I was growing up and still does not.  She can play Barbie’s with my daughter and transport her to another world.  She changes diapers, makes them dinner, and reads them stories.  My dad is a baby whisperer.  They flock to him.  He doesn’t ask for anything.  He only gives them love and hugs and ALL his time.  That is why they adore him.  When they are around, I can sit back for a little while.  They like to do it and thank goodness, because I like for it to be done. 

When I come to their house, I feel at home.  If my husband has to work late or goes away on business, I find comfort there.  I come for me.  It helps me refresh and rejuvenate.  Daughters have such strong relationships with their moms and I am so thankful for that bond.  I can only hope that one-day, when my daughters are married and having children, I can be that for them.  

I need my mom.  And sometimes, that is all I need.

I can absolutely not say enough about how wonderful and helpful my parents are.  They keep me sane, make it easier, and continue to give my guidance, support, and most of all…love. 

I hope that everyone out there has a support system.  If your mom isn’t around or alive, I hope you have an aunt or helper or close friend that can give you everything you need.  I hope that you can feel at home and find comfort in that support.  And during this crazy time of raising children, know you are never alone.