Under Control

I was in the grocery store a couple of months back and there was a mom there that was pushing her shopping cart forward while pulling her triple stroller behind her filled with screaming kids.  Hands. Full!  Yikes.  I had to look away.  She looked weary and I kind of smiled to myself for some reason.  Not at her expense, just because….Just because I wasn’t her.  It made me smile.  Is that mean?  I hope not.  It isn’t meant to be mean because I do really feel for her.  It looked hard.   But I was thankful for a calm morning at the grocery store.  I was happy it wasn’t me, that time. 

My friend (with 3 kids) texted me a few weeks later…

“Went to the grocery store today with (3 year old) son in the cart and (6 month old) in the baby Bjorn.  Passed a man who said, ‘boy, u have your hands full.  I didn’t know if I wanted to tell him to F off or tell him no but thanks I am enjoying life and have everything in control.  Then, I looked down and my boob is leaking.”

I started laughing…hard!  I LOVE getting texts like this because it always makes me feel human.  AND…it makes me laugh…not at her expense…but because it is hard and I get it.  Just when she thought she had everything under control, she looks down and sees that.  Shear comedy.  And that poor innocent man who we all just want to give the finger!  Can’t he keep his mouth shut and just smile at the baby?  Move on down that aisle old man.  Keep walking.  I love those people that have an unwelcomed opinion about everything.  I think things like this about other people and about myself sometimes, but I don’t say it.  You don’t say it.  The voices in our heads don’t always have to make a sound.  I got the text when I was alone and on my way to the store.  My parents were watching the girls.  I was happy it wasn’t me, that time.

Yesterday I took my girls to get my afternoon coffee.  I squeezed it in before nap; squeezed in tight and through a minuscule window of opportunity.  Squeezed like 10 lbs of potatoes in an 8 lb sack.  Remember when I laughed at the lady in the grocery store and at my friend’s text.  Remember when I was happy it wasn’t me.  Hi Everyone!!!  My turn.  My lips pressed into a straight, hard line and my arm pits perspired profusely in the 10 minutes I was there.  Everything was absolute craziness because both girls decided to go a little mad at the same time.  From waiting on line, to paying the cashier, to waiting for the coffee….madness!!!!  Sweaty!  Uncomfortable!  Impatient!  MESS!  The funniest thing about it was that I saw my friend’s husband working quietly at the table. I attempted to say hello.  He can vouch for this.  I think I tried to have a conversation with him.  I think.  But, all I saw was a crying, messy 3 year old and a baby/toddler running off in another direction.  My peripheral vision was ON HIGH ALERT!   I FAILED!  (F-)  I’m sure he was happy it wasn’t him as well as everyone in that place!

It makes me smile though…all of it. (Right now at least) 

If we don’t take it too seriously, we can all get through it fine. 

If we can laugh about it.

 If we can keep our head about it.    

If we can stay calm. 

If we can always remember that it won’t always be like this. 

If we can smile at the hard moments and at the beautiful ones just the same….

If we can trust ourselves when others doubt us.

If we can, we will!