Magical Mom

I know I complain sometimes.  I know that I talk about the reality of motherhood a lot.  I know that sometimes it isn’t pretty.  That is because I know it’s hard.  You know that too.  Maybe I just want to connect to other moms.  Maybe I want to find humor in the hardship.  But sometimes, what I fail to talk about is what I know is in all of our hearts all the time…the magic.

Sometimes I think it is amazing that mothers hold a little magic in their hands at all times.  The other day, I was leaving the house.  I was walking out and both my girls were running after me, (the little one in tears) and I smiled, closed the glass door, and blew fog onto the other side of it.  I made smiley faces and hearts all over the door.  They just stood there, amazed at the magic I was creating through the glass, i.e., nothing special to any of us.  Anyway, I waved and they waved back and started blowing their own fog on the window and making hearts and smiley faces (with huge smiles on their own faces).  No more tears.  I got into my car, pulled out and saw them standing at the door; I smiled to myself.  How easy?!  How magical to them!

They’ve got something we need.

They are able to see the magic in the mundane. 

Every night I sing to my daughter.  She wants me to sing the “Ariel song”…you know…”Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat, wouldn’t you think my collection complete.”  And I mean, I sing it.  I’m a HORRIBLE singer but I sing the crap out of it.  I close my eyes and act like I am some sort of pop singer on her stage (my real dream in life).  My little one LOVES it.  My older one listens at the door too.  To them, I must have the most magical, gorgeous voice because the little one asks for it…every.single.night.  I am more than happy to comply.  It is 5 minutes that I feel like I am soooo good at something I know I am soooo bad at.  “Mama, you sound like Ariel!!!”  The tables have turned.  It is such magic for me.  Such joy for her.  (Until she screams “NO NIGHT NIGHT”—every single time!!!)  ZAP!

Life is in brilliant COLOR for them.  There are no gray February skies in their world.  No snow storms and shoveling.  They see magical bright white flakes sparkling from the sky.  They hear beautiful magical musical voices.  They see enchantment. 

We need to see that too. (Especially when we are shoveling 14 inches of compact ice)!!!

I know we are here to teach our children right from wrong.  I know we are supposed to get them ready for the “rules” of life.  But sometimes I can sit here quietly and let them teach me.  Sometimes I know I need to let them teach me how to laugh more and see more magic.  I know I can learn more from them than I did in high school, college, or even grad school.  I am learning to see the magic inside myself, by seeing the magic they see in me.  When I sing, when we dance together to Rhianna, when I blow fog on the door, when I make a side braid like Elsa, when I make toast just perfectly with just the right amount of butter, when I color a rainbow…all these ordinary things.  I am learning to see the magical aspects of them that have otherwise been lost to me.  I am starting to understand that being a mom is so much more than teaching right and wrong, getting them ready for school and making their meals.  It is about loving ourselves and our children; it is about finding joy in the uninteresting as they do; it is about magic and love. 

I just asked my 4 year old what the most magical thing about me is.

She came over to me and gave me the biggest hug.  She said, “That…hugs.”  There is nothing ordinary about that.  In fact, it was the most magical thing I have ever heard.