Let It Go

As a mom, do you spend too much time feeling guilty when we you take time to yourself?  Do you rush through the gym because you feel like you HAVE to get home to the fam?  That mom guilt is overrated.  It’s time.  It’s your turn.

One reason (among many) the movie Frozen got it right, the song “Let it go.” 

Are you signing it in the shower?  I am.  It is my new mantra!  And as I sing it, I believe I am teaching myself and my children all about this beautiful feeling, the capability of letting it all go.

As Moms, isn’t this the hardest thing to do?  Maybe we are having a bad day and yell a little more than usual.  Maybe you are deciding mid-SCREAM that you cannot GET THROUGH SLEEP TRAINING!!! Are you 60 years old and now regretting being an absentee parent? 

Are you like me?  Sometimes I lie in bed and regret the choices I’ve made that day.  I chide myself.  Oftentimes, I even tell my husband when he gets home that I was a “terrible mom” today.  It is hard to let go of things we’ve said to our children; things we’ve done, the actions we took.  Why did we lose our patience?  What made us yell in the moment?  Why does it seem as though we are completely missing the mark? 

Why can’t we let it go?

And then what happens?  We get discouraged and we act accordingly.  Maybe I’m already in the black hole so instead of climbing and clawing out one death grip at a time, I stand there, frozen…unable to move toward the light, toward peace.  My chiding becomes my inner dialogue.  “I can’t.  I’m not.  I won’t.”  I make myself believe that I am not good enough.  But as parents, we cannot do that; as people we can’t.  There is another way.

I’ve spoken before about a mother’s need for perfection.  Yes of course we want everything to be perfect.  Why wouldn’t we?  The truth is we cannot be perfect.  Nothing is perfect.  What we must do is accept who we are, own our mistakes, and then let them go.  We need to be enlightened!  We need to give ourselves a moment to own whatever mistake we might have made and then move right on, onward and upward. 

Where are we going? 

We are moving toward perfect harmony, and that only comes when we ACCEPT OUR TRUE SELVES!  Accept the way that we are as moms.  “That perfect girl is gone.  Here I stand, in the light of day”  When we release that idea of perfection, our true selves come barreling out…and guess what…we are pretty wonderful.   “Let the storm rage on…” around us.  Let other people try to tell us how to do it better.  Let them try and tell us we are not good enough, whoever they are.  Let them just try!!!  But, we won’t bite.  We know how to own ourselves and let everything else go.  Our inner dialogue should be singing our own praises!  We should be singing the words with all of our might!!!!

And if you aren’t there, get there.  It is all about your mindset. 

“It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small.  And the fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all” 

Isn’t that what Elsa did?  She took her life into her hands, embraced her powers, decided without doubt to be herself, and put the past behind her; she let it go.  And then she built a really kick-ass castle.  What a powerful thought.  She let it go and then she built something wonderful.  What are you building?  A Family?  A business?  An empire? 

“It’s time to see what I can do.  To test the limits and break through”

We can do that.   

I went and saw a motivational speaker a few weeks ago, a man named Jeff Combs.  He spoke about being able to be objective, to evaluate and see a situation for what it is.  He talked about reasons why we can be sensitive and defensive.  Most of all, he talked about letting it go.  Let go of doubt, let go of the pain from your past, let go of the guilt, and let go of the “control you feel to be out of control.”  Does that make sense to you?  It honestly took me a good 5 minutes to comprehend that.  Let go of this mindset you might be feeling of being out of control.  I have been there.  Too much laundry.  Kindergarten registration.  HOW ON EARTH AM I GOING TO GET 2 MONTHS OF PSE&G BILLS BY TOMORROW??  How will we get it all done? 

I’m still working on it.  But as he says, feeling out of control is a mindset.  Get your world under control.  Start one thing at a time, one moment at a time.  Start now.  Let go of the past and move forward.  You are worth it.

Look, I’m not spiritual leader.  But, I am trying to be a better mom and person.  I am getting addicted to growing as a human being.  I hope you will come on this journey and grow with me.  Together, we will all find happiness, uncover our true selves, and in the end we will be better moms and people.  It all starts when we listen to Elsa.  She knows the truth.  Sing it Elsa!  Sing it sisters!

“Standing frozen in the life I’ve chosen.  You won’t find me; the past is all behind me.”