Unkempt

I don’t shave my legs enough.  It is just one of those things I just don’t do well.  You know why, I’ll finally get the kids to bed and then realize that I have to go outside and put away the stroller or the wagon.  Then I’ll find a sippy cup somewhere in the grass with old milk crusted up and ants crawling in it.  Then I’ll have to deal with that.  I’ll walk inside, defeated.  Then, I’ll finally drag myself into the shower, (because I didn’t have time during the day) look over at the razor and give it a swift flick of my wrist.  No.  Too much effort.  But, I’ll pay for it later.  Like yesterday, I was at a gym class wearing short Capri work-out pants and doing some move the wrong way.  The instructor came up to fix my legs and accidentally (I’m sure) brushed up against my hairy leg.  I went still.  No, please don’t.  I know she saw it or felt it and me and my bright red face focused on that for the next 38 minutes of the class.  Why oh why didn’t I just shave my damn legs??  She must think I am the most unkempt, messy, disheveled human being, a sore excuse for a woman.   How on earth does she even drag herself from her house, she’ll think.  

Is this where I am?  Too lazy to shave my legs? 

If you have been following ‘growing ladies,’ for a while, you know that I went through a really, ugly phase when my second baby was born.  I mean the whole nine; spare tire, crusty finger nails, gray roots…the whole shebang.  And although I am slowly but surely creeping myself out of there, I am fully aware that I am not always up to par.  Who knew we would have to do so much to look good?  Along with shaving our legs, we have to wax, paint, gloss, color, cleanse, and brush.  Who has time to go from here to there and get it all done?  I sure don’t.  So then I’ll find myself lacking somewhere, usually it is my hairy eyebrows.  I’ll look in my rearview mirror and see it in full force.  Drat!

We are woman and we need to feel good about ourselves.  And I will never say anything against that.  EVER!  If my friend wants to drop off her kids with me to get herself a wax, DO IT!  We need to look good for ourselves.  If not, what is the point??!  One of my friends recently said and I quote, “this isn’t my time, this time is all for the kids.”  I couldn’t have disagreed more.  I completely respected her opinion and honestly, more power to her for putting her all into her children, but at the same time, I just think that is no way to live. This is a time for our kids; true…but it will NEVER NOT be about us.  Did you catch that double negative?  Even though we have kids, it should still be about us.  We need TLC too.

I mean, it isn’t like we are walking around like beauty queens here.  At least, I’m not!  We are doing what we have to do to be acceptable.  Go into the world and see people, acceptable.  But, we have to do it for ourselves.  If not, we just don’t feel as good as we can feel about ourselves and then, we won’t be as good as we can as moms.  It’s true.  Full circle.  It all ties into each other.  Look good, feel good, and be good.  Truth.

Look, I have daughters and I’m not saying that we need to FOCUS on beauty.  Not at all.  But, we can focus on being our best selves.  I will also say that I don’t want to walk around with bushy eyebrows.  The amazon look is really not in my ‘acceptable’ column.  If that means getting myself a bi-weekly eyebrow wax, I WILL NOT feel guilty about it. 

Do not feel guilty about taking time for you, whatever it is that makes YOU feel acceptable as a human being.  Do not feel guilty about going for a run, spending an hour with a book, sneaking off for a drink with friends.  Do not feel guilty about living your life.  After all, I don’t want to be 94 years old and asking myself, when did I have a moment for me?!  I want to be 94 years old and say, I had a good life, filled with good people, and felt good about myself during it.  My 94 year old grandmother (in law) was just put into a nursing home/rehab facility for a few weeks and wanted to get her hair done. What a heartwarming thought.  That was always what she did to feel good, always.  I said to my husband, “that is so wonderful and beautiful.”  After raising 7 children, there will never be a time when she doesn’t deserve that.  There will never be a time when any of us moms, don’t deserve to look and feel and BE our very best. 

I’m shaving my legs tonight!