Be myself, yourself, ourselves...

I bet it is exhausting to try to be someone you are not.  To walk around life and to feel unsure; it is probably the worst feeling.  I bet you can lose yourself easily if you don’t have a strong foundation of who you are.  To chase something that you can never reach; to be someone who you are not; to try and fit in when you are different.  I bet it is exhausting.

I have a friend who was always true to himself and you know what, he didn’t fit in at times, but he never faltered and in the end, he found his way; his niche.

I know someone who is questioning who he is, wondering why he is unhappy?!  He is unhappy because he isn’t being himself or true to his nature.  When he can come to terms and be ok in his own skin, he will find true happiness again.

I know a girl who is trying to fit in when she cannot.  She is chasing something unobtainable.  She is sacrificing a part of herself to try to be a part of something else.  She will continue chasing and she will never reach her goal.  I feel sorry for her.  She can never be happy until she realizes her true place. 

I struggled with identity when I started the process of trying for babies.  I remember it as if it was yesterday.  If I wasn’t trying to have a baby; if I wasn’t having miscarriages, getting pregnant, and reliving the process over and over again, who was I?!  And then, I was graced with children and became a mom.  Who was I then?  What kind of mom am I and what kind of person was I becoming?  I couldn’t be the best friend anymore; the kind that dropped everything for anyone.  I couldn’t be that girl.  I had a family now.  I struggled with the change but what I realized is something so simple.  I cannot be everything to everyone anymore.  I had to decide to take care of the most important things first and everything else would fall into place.  It had to.  It did.  And you know what, everything is not perfect, but that is ok.  I’m being true to myself.  If some people don’t understand me or feel slighted, well…so be it.  We are all at the age where we have to do what is best for ourselves and our families.   

We are who we are.  Period.  Whether we have pink hair ;) blue eyes, thick skin, or a fleeting heart, it doesn’t matter.  We have to try and embrace ourselves and who we are meant to be.  Truth be told, I can’t crack a joke on command, but I can laugh hard at the ones who can.  I can’t pack a bag, load up the kids, and plan a trip spur of the moment, but I will invite over the ones who can or clap for them as they pass my house with arms flailing out the windows.  I can give pretty good advice but I’m not the type to sit on the phone and talk about it for hours.  I’m a one, two punch type of girl.  That will probably never change.  What needs to change and evolve is our idea of what we need, what we have, and what we can do without.  When we can come to terms with all of these things and find a balance, we can truly realize the people we are.  And then, we will be happy. 

I hope that if you are reading this and struggling with yourself or a big change in your life, I hope you can see it through by staying true to yourself.  If you are pregnant, changing jobs, moving, finding a new normal or trying to improve your everyday life, I pray that you will be able to do it in the only way you know how; by being you.  Good luck.