Friday, October 5, 2012

Here's to you

It boggles my mind that, at this age there are still people out there that don’t actually want to be nice and friendly to others.  The “why bother” mentality is ugly in my mind.  Sometimes I cannot wrap my brain around it or there must be cross wiring or something.  Short circuits.  Why on earth is it so hard for some people to be nice to others?  And, why is it so hard to avoid drama?  I don’t get it. 

Last weekend I was talking to a few other girlfriends and we were discussing good women.  Something sparked the conversation.  A person walked by without acknowledging us; a person who clearly knows us.  It was really strange.  It felt like high school.  We looked at each other and said, “I don’t get it.” …the continuation of an unfriendly nature.  It boggles my mind.  You can’t just give a half smile?  No?  Not possible??!  Oh wait, I want to remind you of something…This isn’t high school!!!  We are all adults now.  There aren’t popular kids anymore.  The ones who snub and “unlike” are the ones who look bad.  I realize that there are probably cases where someone felt snubbed by me.  Perhaps?  I'm not saying we have to go out to dinner with Sally Sue down the street, but we can at least say hi to her and smile.  There is a definitely a distinction with being best friends, friends, acquaintences, and civil. 
I’m looking up at my dresser in my bedroom right now.  A quote sits on it, in plain sight. 
Here’s to good women
May we know them

May we be them

May we raise them

I look at it every day and it is supposed to give me a reminder.  I bought it in a hallmark store waaaay before I had children, girls mind you.  I absolutely, positively believe in its message.  What else can I ask for as a woman and for my ‘growing ladies?’  I’ve talked about “Mom” friends, about “old” friends, and about “new” friends.  I talked about being sad at letting some go, but rejoicing in the new ones who came at just the right time.  The ones, who remain present in my life at this moment, are the ones I think about when I read…
 
“May we know them…” 
Good women to me, look you in the eye.  They listen to your thoughts and accept them.  They care.  They respond.  They react.  They welcome.  They smile.  They want make an effort, are kind to others and themselves.  They understand.  They do not create drama in their friend’s lives. If they do, they aren’t real or friends. Good woman, they are hard to come by, but I know a few ;)  We are those women too, as long as we listen and accept.  As long as we smile at the ones we know well, as well as the familiar ones we see around our town, on the train, or at the park.  If we can be gracious at the new faces that hold the door for us and nod our heads to the ones that grab coffee at the same place and same time.  To be a good woman, is to be a good model for our children.  The heart of it all lies in this…
May we raise them”
Last weekend, when we were talking about these women who don’t act friendly, we also discussed what these women will not do well…raise good children.  Children learn from example.  When I tell my daughter that we are collecting clothes for the less fortunate, I want it to burn in her brain.  When I’m smiling at others and being friendly, I want my daughter to see that and mimic THAT!  I want to be a good woman, so I can raise good women.  I’m not going to walk down the street with my nose up in the air.  I’m going to look around at the people around me, right in the eye.  And when my daughter wants to comfort the little girl in her class who cries for her mommy, I’m going to smile and know that she learned that by example.  And when my daughter gets snubbed at the park by another child, I’m going to wipe away her tears and tell her the truth.  Some people just aren’t nice people.  But, we don’t want to be friends with people like that anyway.

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