My daughters, myself

My baby woke up at 10AM from her 2-hour nap and I stuffed her in the car by 10:20 for an hour and twenty-minute drive.  I prepared myself for the worst.  But, I pumped up the music, opened the windows, and the drive was smooth.  The girls were great.  The baby was fine because she literally had her head turned for the entire ride, watching her sister.  If she started to whine or complain, my toddler would say, “It’s ok, shh shh, it’s ok.”  And the baby would stop.  My toddler, the little mommy?!

Yesterday, my toddler picked up her fake baby doll and bathed her in her little baby nursery set.  She scrubbed her hair and then wrapped her in a blanket.  Then, she went over to the couch, got cozy and gave her the fake bottle.  After she was done, she burped her and then put her in the stroller.  She wrapped her in the blanket and strolled her back to the baby nursery set, “Her Home” as she called it.  She then put her in the bassinet part with a pillow and a blanket, went over to the light and shut if off and then whispered to me, “we have to be quiet, the baby is sleeping.”

I watched the entire scene unfold with a slightly parted mouth.  I didn’t say a word, I just watched.  I can’t say I don’t know where she got this from because she has been watching me with her baby sister for 10 months now.  I tend to wrap everyone up in blankets, even myself.  And now, so does she.  I’ll go into my room and find some doll sleeping in my bed under a blanket.  Sometimes in the evening before my husband takes her up to bed, she will tuck me in and then close the door and say, “get some rest mommy.”  I mean…this girl.  How much of this is innate?  How much of this is learned? 

I realize that babies and toddlers have the basic elements of behavior.  They are ingrained from genetic make up.  But, it is observational experience that modifies the daily behavior.  In layman’s terms, you are what you watch.  That is why advertising works, right?  So, in the end…holy mother of God, I really have to be good because I want my daughters to be good. 

Yesterday I put my toddler in quiet time.  She really doesn’t nap much anymore, but I still will have her go into her room for an hour.  But yesterday, she whined and fake cried for about 30 minutes of it.  I finally gave in and went up to her room.  “What’s wrong,” I said.  “I want to come down,” she said.  I said, “You know, whining the whole time really defeats the purpose of quiet time.  Frankly, it was annoying.”  She just said she wanted to come down and so, that was the end of it.  An hour later, I took her to music class and another boy kept taking her shoe, “Mom,” she said, “that boy is being sooo annoying.”  Oh jeez.  The teacher said, “did she just say he was being annoying.”  “Yes,” I said, “I don’t know where she got that.”  Snicker, snicker. 

Nurturing has an impact on our children more than we can ever imagine?!  It is so scary.  My toddler is basically a miniature me right now, a mini-me.  I have to be careful.  Everything I do and say is being watched and learned; I realize I mold and shape my daughters. 

My daughter is a little mommy.  She takes good care of her dolls.  She protects and hugs her sister.  She loves with every single piece of her heart.  Some of that is innate and most of it is learned.  My heart bursts with pride.  I’m doing ok.