3...2...1

My little girl is approaching the big 3! 

My baby is approaching the big 1!

My 2 kids are getting so big.  Time is slipping through my fingertips.  Can we hold it right here?  Pretty please??! 

I know I talk about how hard it is sometimes, with my “sock balls,” my lack of “painted nails,” chasing my daughter with pancakes, the hurricane, being on “autopilot”, etc but I do that to vent and to give mommies a voice and so that we do not feel alone.  I want to bring a sense of humor to motherhood, but I always want to bring a sense of relief.  I’m finding expression for us mommies.  And I will express myself in all the ways, good or bad; sad or happy; tired or not......in the moment….or after much deep thought. 

So, as I sit here and think about this last year gone by, tears stream down my face.  Because, I don’t think about the sock balls, I think about my daughter putting on her own shoes for the first time.  I don’t think about my unpainted nails, I think about the little new baby hands holding mine.  I don’t think about the hurricane of getting us out the door, I think about the moments when we are sitting on the blanket and playing.  I don’t think about chasing my daughter with a pancake, I think about us making pancakes together.  I don’t think about the mediocre moments, I think about the exceptional ones.  These are the moments we look back on.  These are the moments that keep us going.  These are the moments that I wouldn’t trade for the world.

My daughter is turning 3.  She walks around and blabs away.  She is exerting her independence.  She is loving what she loves…jewelry, sparkles, hugging her sister, sliding, swinging, watching Curious George, but most of all; pretending, picturing, imagining and loving.  She is herself and I am proud.

My baby is approaching 1.  She shakes her head “no” when I tell her no.  She giggles at peek-a-boo and laughs with her whole belly.  She crawls so fast and stands up on her own with her hands above her head, “soooo big.”  She loves her sister more than anything and climbs all over her.  She shovels food in her mouth and stares at mine.  She has a big personality and I am proud.

My ‘growing ladies’ are growing so fast.  I know I can’t slow it down, but I want to.  I don’t want to approach the time when I don’t give my baby a bottle before bed.  I don’t want to change a thing.  But, I know they grow, as do I.  And I know, they will continue to grow up so fast.  So, I want to take a moment to appreciate this moment in time; to bask in these little ladies as they approach their big birthdays.  To reflect on all of the good moments from the year; starting from the birth of my second child, to the birthday of my first.  Close my eyes and savor it.  It is fleeting.   

My heart, my tears, my love….

My 3 year old, my 1 year old, my 2 kids; my everything…