Highs and Lows

My babysitter was here the other day.  She watches the girls for a few hours once a week while I run the errands that are easier to accomplish without kids.  I came home and put my (almost) 2 year old in for a nap while she finished the puzzle with my (almost) 4 year old.  When I sat down with them, she said to me, “I guess you aren’t going anywhere for a while.”  No, I wasn’t.  My baby is a long napper and obviously I cannot go anywhere when she is in her crib.  I said, “Do you remember those days; the days when you felt trapped?!”  NOTE: She has 3 grown kids now so it has been a while.  “Oh really,” she said, “I never felt like that.  I would just put them in the grocery cart or in the stroller and just do what I needed to do.”  “Oh,” I responded…deflated.  I guess we weren’t going to bond over this one.  Am I terrible?  She continued, “My mom and I would just get things done.”  Bing.  “Well, you were lucky to have your mom so close” My parents and in-laws are an hour to an hour and a half away, respectively.  I can’t just do the ‘drop off.’  These things have to be planned, packed, organized, and in order.  I don’t really have anyone that can be there for me at the drop of a hat. I’m not complaining because I have wonderful friends.  I’m just talking about life.  I try to do visits often so that I can feel some sense of a break, but other than that, I’m on my own.  So maybe it was the fact that she had her mom close and/or maybe it is that she clearly doesn’t remember the ‘good old days.’  It is easy to forget.  And nobody warns you about them…the highs and lows of parenthood.

I’m coming off an enormous HIGH.  I lost a bunch of weight through a nutritional cleansing program and the weather was getting warmer.  High and more high.  We were outside more and the girls were on a roll.  Rolling, rolling, rolling all the way down the hill toward….wait for it….the stomach virus!  LOW!

I mean, it is completely fine.  My 4 year old is basically watching movie after movie today as she rests off those large bags under her eyes and recovers from the dry-heaving.  L  But, the rain has started and my 2 month high has hit a road block.  Detour through the woods!  Grab your flashlight.

The thing is, nobody ever tells you about the lows.  EVER!  I feel like it is some big crummy secret.  Why must everyone keep everyone else in the dark?  Why?  I don’t get it.  People just need to be honest.  Yes, sometimes motherhood is a big, cranky mess.  There, I said it.  And it feels good!  I guess we don’t want to make new mommies feel bad about their decision to have a baby.  But, I feel like it can be even more than that.  Why don’t the mothers of 7 year olds tell the mothers of 4 year olds what to expect in the next few years?  Why do I have no idea what to expect with year 4 approaching?  Do the tantrums lessen?  Do we emerge into a potty situation that does not involve Miralax?  Can we take off a princess dress without sobbing?  And if a turkey burger is hot, will it invoke senseless tears?  Just wondering.  I just want to know what I’m in for. 

I mean, I told my friend who has a newborn about the witching hour.  I warned her.  She would have figured it out on her own, but at least I could give her that.  Look, the witching hour starts around 6 weeks and they cry for about 2-3 hours nonstop between the hours of 5-7 pm.  Good luck. 

Thanks???

Oh, the highs and lows.  Here we are again.  But, we will get through it.  The sun will break through those trees and we will be playing through the sprinklers again.  I know it.  Next week, we will ride off into the sunset waving our fairytale wands and screaming out the window, “This is the best day ever!”   And we will forget about the lows.  (This I say as I watch my 4 year-old child squirm to hold in her poop).