Princess Pride

If your son plays with GI Joes, will be likely be a soldier?

If your daughter plays with baby dolls, will she only want to be a mom?

If you are a preacher, will your daughter become a stripper?

If you are a cop, will your child get in trouble with the law?

If your daughter plays with princesses, will she become obsessed with how she looks?

What prompted this post is an article about a person who wrote about wanting to take the focus off of telling a little girl how she looks all the time.  Instead, ask her what she is reading, thinking, etc…  (I of course agree with this)  It is important to HEAR from our children; to discuss.  I LOVE to hear everything my daughter is thinking and what she thinks will happen next in a book.  But, I also want her to know how beautiful she is on the inside and out.  If she hears it a gazillion times, I’m sure she will grow up believing it and never question it.  It will give her the confidence that I believe some little girls might be missing?  Most of these girls with eating disorders these days were probably never told how beautiful they are inside and out.  I will be sure that my daughters will know it!!!!!  I won’t just tell them they are beautiful when they are wearing a big dress though, they will also hear it when they are in their sweats ready for a rumble on the playground.  They will hear it when their hair is in knots but they smile that huge smile and tell me they love me.    

Princess Free Zone.

This article also lead to the discussion of the “princess free zone”on Facebook.  I’ve been thinking about it and I must say I’m not on board.  Not fully on board at least.  Look, my 2 girls are BASKED in the glow of princess light right now and I am 100% ok with it.  They aren’t just a one man show, however.  They also LOVE other things just the same.  My little 18 month old is learning her alphabet right now and doing remarkably well.  If she is wearing a crown on her head while doing it, fine by me.  My 3 ½ year old plays with all her dolls and animals every night and takes them into “Fairytale Land.”  She dreams up different adventures every night and uses different voices to represent different animals and princesses.  If she wants to live in “Fairytale Land” for a few hours every night before bed, I’m ok with it.  She is using her imagination like no other.  If she wants to put on a princess dress while she colors, more power to her.  Be you.  Do it.  I’m on board.  If she wants to wave a magical wand while baking with me, I’m ready to pretend to be a princess as well.  For me, trying to steer clear of something that gives my girls so much enjoyment is a no brainer.  Isn’t happening.  But, I also LOVE to talk about books and learning.  And the other night, when we were in “Fairytale Land,” we went to the library to wake up her sleeping ladybug.  Go girl!

If the right thing to do is live in the princess free zone, I’m doing it all wrong.  But, as mom my reminded me, when we were growing up, we didn’t have all of this instant parenting tips and advice.  Do it this way.  Don’t do it that way.  Your way is wrong.  This way is right.  Parent like this, not like that.  Blah, blah blah……

When we grew up, get this….our parents raised us the way they saw fit.  Can you believe it?  If we liked a Barbie doll, we got it for our birthday.   It was a doll.  We played with it.  End of story.  Yes, I’m sure some of our parents read parenting books and what not, but they trusted their instincts MORE, I’m sure of it.  And they didn’t question EVERYTHING!  I’m not saying don’t read articles, don’t question, and don’t try to make yourself a better parent.  I’m not saying that at all.  I question all the time.  I read articles.  I have opinions about them.  I think it is important to be educated.  I’m just saying, enhance your own parenting, and don’t change it or question it based on what someone else’s opinion may be. They are not necessarily right and you are not necessarily wrong. Vice versa.  I’m saying this for myself too as I started to question if it was ok for my daughters to love princesses (for a hot second).  I questioned and then I came to terms with it.  They love it, right now.  It’s fun for now.  Let’s do it.  I just don’t think there is anything wrong with it and I don’t think it will make my daughters obsessed with their looks or the fairytale.  If my daughter turns 10 wearing a big ball gown to school, then it is time to reassess.  Ha!  But for now, ROCK ON princesses!  Wear your ball gown with pride.  Know you are beautiful, know you are smart, and know you are everything in between. 

Beyond the Honeymoon Stage

I LOVE Fridays; not because it is actually Friday, which definitely is a plus.  I love it because my daughter is in afternoon school and my little one naps.  I sit here for 2 hours and catch up on TV.  I get to watch Grey’s Anatomy in peace.  Sweet heaven.  It makes me OH…SO HAPPY! 

I’m trying to think of all the things that make me happy right now.  It has been a rough month.  It started with a Christmas double ear infection.  Fa la la la laaaaaa… and ended with my husband passing out on the train ride home and getting rushed to the hospital, (He was victim to the stomach virus) and my 18 month old spiking a high fever.   La la la laaaaaaaaaaaa… 

I sent my husband a text this morning as my 18 month old is still cranky from…well…whatever she is cranky about: teeth, getting over a fever, boredom, cabin fever, LIFE IN GENERAL…who knows.

I texted, “I will not survive today.” 

The truth is I will survive this and the reality is that it is not that big a deal.  People have been doing this for centuries and centuries, motherhood that is.  But, I am fairly new to this.  I mean, it has been 3 ½ years.  I’m out of the honeymoon stage of child rearing now and entering the “this is the way it is” stage.

Remember the honeymoon stage?!  Maybe some of you are there now.  It is so wonderful.  The magical moment your 3 month old rolls over for the first time and everyone claps and jumps.  You cannot believe the little miracle you created is now rolling over all on his/her own.  It is the first sign of independence.  How wonderful?!

FLASHFORWARD: 3 ½ years and 2 kids later….my 18 month is crying in her high chair because I am not getting breakfast to her fast enough and my 3 ½ is rolling around the floor on her back.  Reality.  “This is the way it is,” stage.  Welcome Noreen.  Don’t get me wrong, it is not a bad place.  It can also be called “Everyday Life.”  There are still mini miracles wrapped up like presents throughout the day.  Like when my 2 girls hug one another or when my 18 month old babbles away, or maybe when my 3 ½ year old makes me laugh hysterically with a random thought or antic.  It is all good…no…great.  Everyday life is great.  But, it is also hard.  There is no easy day beyond the honeymoon stage.  Reality has eggs crusted to the floor.  Reality has tantrums.  Reality has nap strikes.  Reality has broken figurines.  And that is just today.  Ha! 

I guess sometimes I wish life can always stay in the honeymoon stage.  Not just in motherhood but in everything: the new house, the new job, the wedding, the 3 month old rolling over.  Magical.  But, life after the honeymoon stage is where we all set up shop for the long haul.  We reside here.  And, it makes me realize that is it a better place to be, because everything is multifaceted.   The highs and lows of life are complicated but not necessarily a bad thing.  They shape us.  And, they are there to remind us to strap on our blinders, (at times) value the little bit of magic in the “everyday,” and remember that reality is constantly changing and evolving.  What is gone is gone forever, but what is here is now and it can be beautiful.  (I say while sipping a latte, feet up, watching Cougar Town). Magical.

-5 pounds total

The Homewrecker

You know when you can’t have the cookie, your whole life becomes all about the cookie?  I’m obsessing about the cookie sometimes.  I want the cookie.  I’m not having it, but I’m wanting it and thinking about it.  Today I went to the deli that has those beautiful black and white cookies and they didn’t have them.  Thank you to the higher power that took them away today.  I actually had a really tough week.  It was the type of week that could have made me pick up that cookie.  And once I pick it up, it is hard for me to stop.  I didn't.  My emotional eating did not overpower me this time.

 

I’m watching the show Undercover Boss right now and it is about the President of Moe’s Southwest Grille.  Basically, the show is about the President going undercover to see what is going on within the restaurants on a day to day basis.  When I was pregnant with my first, my coworkers and I went to Moe’s AT LEAST once a week.  Me, Christian, and Maureen would hop in the car and get ourselves a Homewrecker.  When I gained 20 pounds by week 20, I couldn’t understand it.  My mom said, “What are you eating?”  “I don’t know,” I responded, “nothing different.  I’m getting a burrito at lunch but it is all veggies.”  “Let me look up the calories,” my mom said.  I called her on the way home from work that day.  “It’s 910 calories Noreen.”  OH…

The problem with me is that I’m still learning what is actually good and what is not. I had NO IDEA that the homewrecker was SOOOO BAD for me.  OMG, I’m starting to see it now…you know…the light.  I’m trying to make good choices.  I’m trying to resist temptation, especially when it is thrown in my face sometimes.  “Here is a black and white cookie Noreen, want it?”  NO!   I’m walking by the cookie section and spending more time with the veggies.  But, not the Homewrecker veggie section, the ACTUAL veggie section.  ha!  I’m drinking this Mo Juice a few times a week which is something new for me.  But, it is giving me the burst of energy that my coffee was giving me at 3 pm (except today I took a nap at 3 pm while my husband did a puzzle with my 3 year old). 

http://www.facebook.com/MoGreenJuice

My friend Karen sent me a link to a list of superfoods.  The other day, I made a black bean and spinach tortilla for lunch.  I wanted to douse it with sour cream, but I didn’t.  I ate it like that, and it was good.  I sent the picture to my friend Karen and she sent me one of hers.  I LOVE having someone supportive and wanting to help me on this journey.  Xoxo Karen…

Did it fill me up?  No.  But, I felt good about doing something ‘super.’

http://goop.com/journal/make/207/superfoods

 What keeps me going?  The Bar Method 60 day challenge is keeping me going.  I am the type of person who needs something to work toward.  I need an end date.  Even when I go running, I need to know exactly where I am going and how long it will take or I will give up 3 steps into the run.  On a similar note, I don’t get motivated by supermodels.  I feel like that is out of my reach.  I get discouraged quickly.  My internal goddess is saying, "I can't get there."  Instead, I get motivated by watching someone eat a big fat ice cream cone with a big belly.  I’m just being honest.  It makes me put down the ice cream cone and quick.   

I’m getting motivated to start making healthy meals.  For the first time, I want to take the time to learn.  I want my family to be healthy too. 

I’m starting to see a change.  Is it on the inside or outside?  Hard to tell.

-2 pounds

 

A Man's Touch

I know what these men think.  They think, “What’s the big deal?”  I know it.  When I wrote “Beast of the East,” my girls were just getting over being sick.  BLAH!  I went to visit my home town the next weekend to celebrate with my friend for her birthday.  We stayed with my parents.  We woke up on Sunday after a late night, tired and groggy.  But, it was a pretty nice day, still cold, but nice.  All of the sudden I hear the door open and I see my dad (Grandpa) with both girls outside on the front stoop.  He was holding the baby who had no socks or shoes and my 3 year old had socks on, no shoes; both with no jackets on.  January.  Winter.  Am I crazy or should they have coats and gloves and hats and socks and shoes on???  Am I crazy or should they?

ME:“Dad, are you kidding, they are just being over major colds and it’s WINTER!!!!!” 

DAD: “Feel it outside, it’s nice out.” 

ME: “It’s winter.  Bring them inside and at least put their socks, shoes, and coats on.” (Huff and puff).

DAD THINKING: “What’s the big deal?”  BUT SAYS, “Ok.” 

ME THINKING: “Am I crazy?”

It reminds me of the blueberry story.  Apparently my husband just told some of his coworkers this story, just yesterday.  This was when the baby was about 11 months.  Let me preface the story with this: she was not a picky eater.  Still isn’t.  She will pretty much eat anything, but she definitely has her favorites.  Blueberries include one thing that she could eat morning, noon, and night.  Blueberries are the one food where I have to CUT HER OFF. 

Well anyway, we were staying with my in-laws that weekend.  I had been getting the kids in the morning for a while, but my husband told me to sleep in.  Ahhhh, how nice.  He says, “I’ll get the kids breakfast and get them dressed.”  Sweet relief.  Well, I come up from a nice long slumber to see my 11 month old in the high chair stained with blueberry; around her mouth, on her hands, everywhere.  “Wow,” I said, “she must have eaten well.”  My arms outstretch with a nice long extended yawn

“WELL,” he responds, “She must have eaten 100 blueberries.”   

ME: …………….&%*$

ME: “100 Blueberries.  You must be joking?  You know 100 blueberries will give her a major stomach ache.  You know 100 blueberries will make her VOMIT.”

HIM: “Well, maybe it was like 75.”

ME: “You have to be joking”

HIM THINKING: “What’s the big deal?”  AND SAYS, “No big deal.  She’s fine.  I exaggerated.”

ME THINKING: “Am I crazy?”

Needless to say, her crib was stained with blueberries because she woke up from her nap puking blueberry pie. 

ME SENDING HIM A TEXT OF A PICTURE OF PUKE BLUEBERRY CRIB WITH THE CAPTION:

“This is why we don’t feed our baby 100 blueberries.”

HIM THINKING: “What’s the big deal?” --I know it.

********************************************************************

 UPDATE ON 60 DAY CHALLENGE:

So far, when I am starving, I'm trying not to run to the truffles.  I did have 2 yesterday.  Whateves.  Baby steps... But, they were allotted in my weight watchers points anyway.  I already feel better.  I haven't lost weight, but I feel healthier.  I tried this juice that the Bar Method sells.  It is called Mo Green Juice.  All veggies.  I didn't mean to use it as a meal replacement, but it is pretty filling.  What is today, Thursday??  Well, I think that is something.  Day 4...starting a change.... 

 

Mirror Mirror

Here’s my question; when you look in the mirror, do you see an accurate reflection of yourself?

Do you see what the world sees?  Or maybe, does the world see different versions of you based on how they feel about you?  If they love you, do they see more beauty than someone who doesn’t?  I know if I don’t like someone, I see their snarled tooth.  It’s like that movie, Shallow Hal.  If someone was beautiful inside, he saw a beautiful outside; vice versa.  Funny movie.      

Does my husband see one thing and a stranger another?  Do my friends look at me and think, too big, too small, too round, not round enough, too wide set, not symmetrical, etc… or do they only notice the things that they find beautiful.  Wow, she has nice brown eyes!?  I know I see the best qualities in my friends.  I can appreciate what makes them beautiful.  But me…when I look in the mirror, I see too many extra pounds.  Yuck.

After New Years, I made a resolution to stop eating candy/junk/crap.  My friend texted me and I told her I already failed on my resolution, DAY ONE!  Nice.  She said that giving up sweets gets me on a one way ticket to miseryville.  But, I said that the end result keeps me living in miseryville.  House, car, white picket fence.  I set up shop in miseryville.  She said I was “stunning.”  In a nutshell, she basically told me not to beat myself up about it.  She must love me?!  But, I told her this story: I was at the deli and they had these delicious looking black and white extra large cookies and I said to another lady, ‘wow, those look good.”  She looked over at them and then looked at me and said, “Yes tempting.”  I decided to take one and she said, “You can’t deprive yourself of everything,” and I said, “The problem is, I don’t.”  She laughed but I wasn’t joking.  I don’t deprive myself.  I took that black and white cookie home and ate it.  HELLO?!  I need to learn the art of self-restraint.  I mean, I love black and white cookies… (like the TV show Seinfeld)...”LOOK TO THE COOKIE!”  But seriously, when I look in the mirror, I do not see everything I could be.  Maybe my friend might see someone “stunning,” but the problem is, I don’t.   I’m not writing this in a woe is me type of way.  I’m writing this in a “let’s get this done,” kind of way.  Are you with me? 

I know I talk about The Bar Method a lot.  I really love it and I do think it can change my body.  I’m going often.  But, the problem is that I’m self-sabotaging myself by what I am putting in my mouth.  I need to eat healthier and I need to decide to do it NOW.  I joined a 60 day challenge that the Bar Method has organized.  I had to get measured for it and couldn’t believe my measurements.  My arms, my waist, my thighs, my BLAHHHHHH….

Yuck, spit, grrrrr…It was depressing.  I took a sneak peak at the other 2 people’s measurements on the page (I had to) and they were so much tinier.  I feel like I broke into a cold sweat.  What am I doing to myself?  How did this happen?  So anyway, I started trying harder; taking baby steps. And, I realized…I have to be held accountable for my actions.  I have to have a goal in sight.  And I do.  March 7.  They will measure me again.  I’m hoping for change.  Being a black and white cookie connoisseur will not get me there, that is for sure.   

I’m not Bridget Jones or anything, but I’m going to take you along.  Just pleeeeaaase don’t judge me because look, I’m a mom and when I have bad days, I want to grab a Hershey kiss.  When everyone is crying, I want to dump coffee creamer in my cup.  When I’m bored, I mistakenly think that I’m hungry and so I grab a snack.  I don’t need it!  These unhealthy habits have to be broken and new habits have to replace them.  I’ll get there, I hope.

So, I’ll put a little note at the end of every blog and maybe just a blurb about how I’m doing.  I have 15 pounds to lose. I almost wrote my starting weight in this, but I’m not that open and free.  I feel like I would walk around with a little bubble over my head and the number just floating for everyone to point and laugh.  Ha! “Look at how much she weighs…holy moly!!!”   I have to keep something to myself.  But, I will tell you how much I’m up or down.  I know.  It is a lot to lose.  But, it has to go.  Between this and the Bar Method, I’m hoping I can get myself back to where I want to be.  I hope you will join me. Maybe join me at the Bar Method or If you want to be held accountable, private message me.  I’ll share some stories as well.  I would hate to do this alone.

Let’s make 2013 the best ever!  And let us look in the mirror and see what we want and feel proud.

http://ridgewood.barmethod.com/

Beast of the East

I went to college at Villanova University.  I think it was my sophomore year when we got free t-shirts or maybe they were like 10 bucks or something.  I really don’t remember buying them though but I can’t remember much from college.  I believe I gave them to my entire family as gifts that Christmas.  The shirt read “Nova Hoops” on the front and “Beast of the East” on the back.  Kind of weird I guess, but I won’t judge, we were the Wildcats.  We all still wear them.  They have gotten pretty ratty.  But, it is extremely convenient when someone is in a bad mood and cranky wearing that shirt and then they turn around. (Beast of the east)  “You’ve got that right.” Sigh…

I was reminded of the t-shirt this week when I was talking to my mom on the phone.  “You sound tired,” my mom said.  “I am, the girls are both sick and I feel gross and basically feel like I’m on a rampage.”  I told her I was living in the new pajama pants she had gotten me for Christmas.  “Which ones,” she said.  (She got me 2 because I love PJ bottoms)  “The ones with the colorful peace signs all over them,” I answered. 

I mean…WE LAUGHED!!!  Ironic, right?  I’m wearing pajamas that have peace signs all over them when I feel like I’m at war.  “Just like beast of the east,” she reminded me.  You’ve got that right.  We laughed some more.  Thanks Mom!  She is pretty freaking funny. 

Notice my toes.  Can you see them?  They are jazzed up, ready for a hot date with my DVR. 

With pink eye, ear infections, and a fever, my house, my appearance and my children were anything but peaceful.  My little one year old pretty much cried the entire day for three days.  I seriously didn’t blame her; she was a mess, but nevertheless, it was still rough.  By Friday, I was exhausted, isolated, and tired.  All I needed was a break from my sick house.  B.R.E.A.K! 

So Friday night, my husband walked in the door and I walked out!  The door swung from its hinges and my husband saw the dust from my feet, up like smoke from a fire.  And like any man in the world headed for the can, I had a magazine under my arm, ready for a little time.  I took the latest US magazine for my well needed pedicure. ie. “me time.”  When I got there, I closed my eyes in the chair, the magazine sitting on the table beside me.  All the ladies at the nail place had their jackets on and scarves wrapped around their necks as I sat in the chair at 6:50pm for a long winter's rest.  Here’s the door, what’s your hurry?  I didn’t care.  “Sorry.  I’m seeking relaxation.  Please don’t rush the foot massage.  Can you use extra lotion?  Yes I’ll add the hot stones for extra.  Stick them right under my feet.  Maybe if I close my eyes and act like I'm falling asleep, she will feel bad and take her time.”   Ahhh, sweet relief.

When I walked back in the door at 7:45 pm, the kids were in bed, and I felt better.  It is amazing what a little fresh air can do for someone.  It doesn’t take much.  It just takes something.  A little something something and then I can magically turn from the beast of the east to the peaceful mom that my new pajama pants suggest…